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Open Poetry #27
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LukeatNFFC
Junior Member
since 2003-07-09
Posts 42
Nottingham, England

0 posted 2003-07-25 12:44 PM



Goodbye-

The shadow of the sadness,
The pain driving to madness,
Forever gone...
...The presence of a loved one.

Blinking tears back at night,
Daybreak seems to bring no light,
Everything has gone....
...The presence of a loved one.

No comfort here,
Just pain and fear.
What have you done wrong?
Why has your loved one gone?

© Copyright 2003 Luke - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2003-07-25 12:47 PM


yeah, I ask too
angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
2 posted 2003-07-25 01:14 PM


Such powerful and strong questions.Wish I had the answers for you.
angelblueyes

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
3 posted 2003-07-25 03:33 PM


Nice writing...James
Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

4 posted 2003-07-26 10:27 AM


I very much like how you expressed your feelings in this write.  If I had tried it, it would have been 2 miles long and no one would have read it!  Take care...
LukeatNFFC
Junior Member
since 2003-07-09
Posts 42
Nottingham, England
5 posted 2003-07-28 05:42 AM


The original was slightly longer, and slightly more boring so I deleted every word of it, and now its been revamped as this version.
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