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gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

0 posted 2003-07-24 12:13 PM

Submissive
you scraped me over
too many miles,

Blistered
and worn black
I mourn myself clean,

The grip to your soles
let go of my earth
soil velveteen heaven,

In rain
I stand before you
for the sake of remember,

Rested in thorn
you always forget
every footstep trodden over me.

Instant karma's gonna get you.

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

1 posted 2003-07-24 12:21 PM

don't let people walk all over you! you're just like grass..or something. Gem..if you don't cheer up..i'l find a way to make you smile. Oh yes, and the poem was great. Library..

ugg.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

2 posted 2003-07-24 12:21 PM

Gemma this is your best..simply amazing

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

3 posted 2003-07-24 12:26 PM

nicely done...the imagery strong..the idea and emotions well presented...

Submissive
you humbled skin
to the points
heart broke
in its reach
to grasp bones of a smile
that they might not crumble

Dust

to wait for rain

and seeds now sown
with your reap of leave

to once again

grow

Ladybug
Member

since 2003-06-17

Posts 236
Massachusetts

4 posted 2003-07-24 01:05 PM

Wow! I really enjoyed this poem, I love the style. The last stanza is my favorite.

"In rain
I stand before you
for the sake of remember"
--> this seemed like it wanted to be "for the sake of remembering" but I like the way you have it, it adds a kick to it.

Great poem, I'll be looking for more of your stuff!

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2003-07-24 01:59 PM

damn...I know this, I know just what you feel

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

6 posted 2003-07-24 02:25 PM

Rested in thorn
you always forget
every footstep trodden over me.

Grrrr!

It makes me so mad to know somebody treated
you this way. You are just too sweet for
anyone to do you like this, Gemma. I know it
hurts really bad right now, but it will
get better, even though you don't think so.
I know it will!!!

Heart hugs, little one

Ethel Mae

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (07-24-2003 02:26 PM).]

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

7 posted 2003-07-24 03:48 PM

...just
beautiful.

To my lirary it goes!

El_Campeador
Senior Member

since 2003-01-29

Posts 761
Ohio, USA

8 posted 2003-07-24 04:41 PM

I hope that the heartlessness of that one will some day be revealed to himself. You were not meant to be trampled.

“We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

9 posted 2003-07-24 04:41 PM

God I love these lines, wish I had written them:

Blistered
and worn black
I mourn myself clean,

amazing writing gemma
xxoo

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