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Open Poetry #27
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Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2003-07-23 03:57 PM


Crackling
my bones are
kissing
the pavement.

You intrude
my mouth
to steal the
words that I'm speaking.

Breathe, relax
though inanimate
things are
moving.

Darken,
my sprain..
'tis lurking.

© Copyright 2003 Meghan Armitage - All Rights Reserved
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
1 posted 2003-07-23 03:58 PM


aches, this aches
gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
2 posted 2003-07-23 04:56 PM


strong, nightmarish images.

Instant karma's gonna get you.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

3 posted 2003-07-23 05:06 PM


The imagery and the phrasing is wonderful.

Maree  

fate is not just
whose cooking  smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)



[This message has been edited by Dark Angel (07-23-2003 05:07 PM).]

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2003-07-23 07:27 PM


Now...I saw a long sprint runner...
stumbling...
receiving artificial respiration
by an over-inspired enthusiast...

and not appreciated!  

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
5 posted 2003-07-23 10:35 PM


There's so many ways to interpret what you write,
and that is a very good thing Kaoru~

This felt like an accident waiting to happen,
or something like that!  

angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
6 posted 2003-07-23 10:37 PM


The imagery and your words are wonderful.
angelblueyes

JaiOfHeaven
Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 207
California, Usa
7 posted 2003-07-25 05:29 AM


Hey K'
You know you have mad skillz!
I love the way you work it.
no diggity...no doubt.

Jai

walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
8 posted 2003-07-25 07:48 AM


Sadly, I relate to the feeling. Great write.
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
9 posted 2003-07-25 07:53 AM


I am with the others..your talent is amazing..

I saw this as being trapped in something...

Susan C.

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