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Open Poetry #27
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Wind
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since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981


0 posted 2003-07-19 09:32 PM


It's not my fault,
the fault is mine
I stayed ahead,
I lagged behind

When we took flight,
I never knew
It was to nowhere
that we flew

I picked you up-
I pushed you down,
I am insane,
no I am sound

we're just like trees
without the roots
we're falling-
without parachutes

(uhh...I wasn't going to post anything for a while, but that stupid last line wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote something. Oh well)

[This message has been edited by Wind (07-20-2003 03:04 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Liz - All Rights Reserved
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
1 posted 2003-07-19 09:58 PM


Liz I know how it is when a line gets stuck in your head.. LOL.
You did very well with working it into a poem though.
~Hugs, Nancy~

~The breeze that kissed you on the face,
    Has held me in the same embrace~

angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
2 posted 2003-07-19 10:16 PM


You did an excellent job with your words.
angelblueyes

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
3 posted 2003-07-19 11:19 PM


I like your writing - keep them coming! Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
4 posted 2003-07-20 11:08 AM


Different write never seen you use this rhyming scheme..it's bouncy..except at the end without parachutes not exactly bouncy..more of a splat thing going..im rambling again
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

5 posted 2003-07-20 12:03 PM


"I picked you up-
I pushed you down,
I am insane,
no I am sound"

Geez....even when you aren't trying to write, you still manage to do it better (and more often...lol) than I do!  

Ivy Rose
Senior Member
since 2001-12-29
Posts 1300
MA, USA
6 posted 2003-07-20 12:16 PM


Wind...Truly a beautifully expressive piece. And, I did love the last four lines especially ***Ivy Rose
Kaoru
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Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
7 posted 2003-07-20 12:38 PM


Wonder what the wind
feels like in your hair when
you're falling faster than you're
supposed to..

Great write, always love your work

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
8 posted 2003-07-20 01:05 PM


Wind, everything you write touches me. I hope you realize what a wonderful talent you have. hugs, Chris

"At one glance
I love you
With a thousand hearts."


— Mihri Hatun, Turkish poet  

    

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
9 posted 2003-07-20 01:38 PM


Liz, I've been there, in that conversation, in that moment, in that falling

good write girlfriend

Wind
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since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

10 posted 2003-07-20 02:25 PM


Hey thanks guys (ehh Raph? Splating isn't a good thing. Was that negative or just sarcastic? Or senseless rambleing. Oh well, lov ya anyhow)
Riley
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Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
11 posted 2003-07-20 04:29 PM


good job...i liked it liz...long time no see...

ri

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
12 posted 2003-07-20 05:59 PM


I love your words
I hate their sound
falling truthful
to thud of heart.

Oi! don't ever think stupid thoughts like,i'm not going to post anything for a while! i'll die without my dose of liz sanity/insanity.

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

13 posted 2003-07-20 06:06 PM


ehe, I try not to over-post.  get better and more honest reponses that way
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
14 posted 2003-07-20 07:07 PM


we're just like trees
without the roots


you said it Liz . . .
nicely done
xxoo

[This message has been edited by littlewing (07-20-2003 07:19 PM).]

Wind
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Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

15 posted 2003-07-20 07:12 PM


hey you- you changed your icon. And Raph changed his location. (Don't think I never notice these thing. Gem does it too...I have to much time on my hands )

[This message has been edited by Wind (07-20-2003 07:12 PM).]

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
16 posted 2003-07-20 07:14 PM


I think this poem is kinda neat!

Huggums,
EA

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
17 posted 2003-07-20 07:20 PM


lol Liz - that was a mistake - the dove is right next to that gopher
Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
18 posted 2003-07-20 07:35 PM



I love your lines
and you know why?
They are penned down
by a cutiepie

Loved your poem Liz

Titia

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

19 posted 2003-07-20 07:35 PM


you can put that on auto ya know

thanks sweetie..

[This message has been edited by Wind (07-20-2003 07:36 PM).]

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
20 posted 2003-07-20 08:44 PM



Liz...this is a very cool write.
I especially enjoyed these lines...

"I picked you up-
I pushed you down,
I am insane,
no I am sound

we're just like trees
without the roots"

Love it.
Hugs,
~Vicky

"it is better to be a part of beauty for one instant and then cease
to exist than to exist forever and never be a part of beauty"
-- Don Marquis

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