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Open Poetry #27
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brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa

0 posted 2003-07-16 12:53 PM



she said
          "write me beauty"

and I
   being unable to

went outside
and lit a cigarette

my mind had no stars
so I looked up at them
hoping to garner their light

        reflect

but it was no use

my eyes rid on the back of my mood
as I
   blankly looked out at the back yard

and found new stars
moving stars

            fewer yes
but as alive
as meteors
          burning through the dusty atmosphere

of my mind

I tossed away my smoking tether
and went out amongst them
and started to run
and spin
becoming dizzy with my midnight friends
and as I slowly gathered in more of their light
I realized
if I danced and spun
fast
        and
                   wild
they would
trace
your name
on the nightsky
of my
longing

and
    they
            did

© Copyright 2003 brian sites - All Rights Reserved
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
1 posted 2003-07-16 12:58 PM



Brian?...WOW...this is gorgeous!

"I realized
if I danced and spun
fast
        and
                   wild
they would
trace
your name
on the nightsky
of my
longing

and
    they
            did"


I absolutely LOVE this...you're so cool.
Hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
2 posted 2003-07-16 12:58 PM


Probably one of your best writes, Brian.
Nice imagery and presentation.

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
3 posted 2003-07-16 01:05 AM


thank you Vicky....
you are a gem
I appreciate that

and Kacy?
smile
it has been hard of late to do anything here
thank you

peace you two

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
4 posted 2003-07-16 01:09 AM


I'm so glad you chose to dance and spin....
Your inspiration is exceptional when drawn in the night sky.

[This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (07-16-2003 01:10 AM).]

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
5 posted 2003-07-16 01:11 AM


I realized
if I danced and spun
fast
        and
                   wild
they would
trace
your name
on the nightsky
of my
longing

and
    they
            did

Brian, this is so beautiful. I love it.
Very romantic.....
Hugs  
Ethel

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
6 posted 2003-07-16 01:11 AM


thank you Bluesy

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
7 posted 2003-07-16 01:13 AM


Ethel,
you are a sweetheart
a romantic?
sigh
do I hafta be?
lol
thank you,lady

timothysangel1973
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725
Never close enough
8 posted 2003-07-16 01:18 AM


Dang!  Made me wanna go outside and stand under the stars...but it's so dern humid here, they aren't even shining through!

Wonderful,, inspirational write!


brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
9 posted 2003-07-16 01:24 AM


hey TimA.......
ferget the stars
how bout them
lightnin bugs?

thanks

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2003-07-16 02:33 AM


"she said
          "write me beauty""

--if you aren't careful? You are going to spoil her.

This is the most beautiful thing I've ever read, Bri.



Mind if I keep it forever?

spingiddy smiling now...


wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
11 posted 2003-07-16 02:47 AM


Hmmm

Lightning Bug Omelettes

Oh! and the spinning, twirling thing?

I wanna SEE that movie!

Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
12 posted 2003-07-16 02:50 AM


"she said
          "write me beauty"

and I
   being unable to

went outside
and lit a cigarette

my mind had no stars
so I looked up at them
hoping to garner their light

        reflect

but it was no use"


God, this is just ..wow.

I can't think of any words to describe how wonderful this is..to the library it goes!



JaiOfHeaven
Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 207
California, Usa
13 posted 2003-07-16 02:57 AM


That was ... cool...  It was unique...gives me inspiration. Really it does.
Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
14 posted 2003-07-16 08:59 AM


OMG Brian!
quote:
and found new stars
moving stars

            fewer yes
but as alive
as meteors
          burning through the dusty atmosphere

of my mind

tossed away my smoking tether
and went out amongst them
and started to run
and spin
becoming dizzy with my midnight friends
and as I slowly gathered in more of their light
I realized
if I danced and spun
fast
        and
                   wild
they would
trace
your name
on the nightsky
of my
longing

and
    they
            did


Do you think if I asked a witch I know to cast a spell and make me ah ... 5 years younger you could NOT write of beauty that way to me?  He he, ah goodness sake this this was indeed a beauty.  I am keeping this one not only in my printed book of goodies, but in my mind to read over and over!  She is one lucky girl, and I think you did indeed write the beauty not them.

[This message has been edited by Mysteria (07-16-2003 09:24 AM).]

Soleil Noir
Senior Member
since 2001-12-19
Posts 688
USA
15 posted 2003-07-16 10:18 AM


and beauty
was born...

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
16 posted 2003-07-16 05:14 PM


Who needs to write when she is close...James
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