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Open Poetry #27
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collarbone_girl
Junior Member
since 2003-07-14
Posts 45
Wonderland

0 posted 2003-07-15 09:48 AM


we walked through a feild and
turned it into a majical desert

our conversation drifting through
dreams, realities, and general riduculousness

occasionaly interupted by a whole hearted
belly laugh that sang of a forever alliance

strolling through our graveyard
picking out perfect photo poses

of cracked stones and wisteria
with the odd crow (just for effect)

down through the sun dappled road
into our woods

following each twist of pine covered
tree shaded path that would eventually
lead to our childhood

with such time honoured precision
we could do it with our eyes closed

hopping over each pot hole
laces undone and hair in the breeze

(just like little girls)

we sat by the brook listening to the water
tell thousands of stories of our past

soaking up nostalgia
too saturated in memory to speak

our grown up shoulders naked to the sun
and our child like smiles dancing with each other

stepping on the old tree we used to
shelter beneath from the rain

the weather long since beaten it to the ground

sitting by the water, our own pretend lake
in a swarm of dragonflies and swans

then the slow trudge home
singing our favourite songs

stopping to pick buttercups and daisies

playing on the swings
and
serenading the sun.

This Cool Night Air Is Curious...

© Copyright 2003 Bee - All Rights Reserved
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
1 posted 2003-07-15 12:02 PM


a peaceful scene..
to the top with you

Late at night you'll come crawling back
Just to steal a piece of me

"Default"

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
2 posted 2003-07-15 02:47 PM


Oh, the images in this are great.  You need to run it through a spell-check, because the spelling errors kept pulling my attention away from what you were saying. Except for the spelling, I have no complaints-I love the day you've painted.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Ringo
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes
3 posted 2003-07-16 02:11 PM


It is more than finished enough. If you feel it needs more, then by all means add to it. For my money, this is very nicely done, and I look forwardf to reading more of your muse.

We see the light of those
Who find the world has passed them by
Too late to save a dream from growing cold...

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
4 posted 2003-07-16 02:46 PM


Pleasant reading experience! Very enjoyable indeed.

"soaking up nostalgia
too saturated in memory to speak."

--one of many special and memorable passages in this wonderful poem that you have written!

Warm welcoming hugs,
Earth Angel

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