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Open Poetry #27
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Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455


0 posted 2003-07-14 06:23 PM



Blood cupped daffodils
weep pekoe tea drops

but stories
are rarely so predictable
and contrition falls closer
to bitter than sweet.

My tears are broken.

I’ve wept blue for
every shade of red
I could never have,
till oceans lie in a pool
at my feet, asking
wade with me?

I would rather have roses
I would rather have thorns

I would rather…

be bled
than wither

in the shade of tainted yellow.

© Copyright 2003 Duncan - All Rights Reserved
Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

1 posted 2003-07-14 06:24 PM


I've come just in time
x8x_bigmike
Member
since 2003-07-08
Posts 130
California, USA
2 posted 2003-07-14 06:25 PM


I’ve wept blue for
every shade of red
I could never have,
till oceans lie in a pool
at my feet, asking
wade with me?

loved this part...exellent

Mike

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
3 posted 2003-07-14 06:27 PM


"I would rather…

be bled
than wither"

So, here's the long awaited duet.
Reads mighty fine, it does.

I, uhm, think you two should do another


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2003-07-14 06:27 PM


Well now.

This was and IS well worth the wait.

(I do hereby restore Duncan to his given name... )

and this?

expresses that longing of the soul for something, ANYTHING, more:

"I’ve wept blue for
every shade of red
I could never have,
till oceans lie in a pool
at my feet, asking
wade with me?

I would rather have roses
I would rather have thorns

I would rather…

be bled
than wither

in the shade of tainted yellow."

Excellent you two.

Porch puppies and Brats...grin.

WHO KNEW?





Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2003-07-14 06:38 PM


Who Knew?

Serenity - that's who...

I'm very proud of our porch puppy Duncan and his side-kick...Wind.  Very good!


Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
6 posted 2003-07-14 06:59 PM


sweet

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
7 posted 2003-07-14 07:09 PM


Not only are the colors primary (red, yellow, blue--from which all colors are made)--but the poem is as well! Its pigments bleed into an ocean of emotion! Beautiful collaboration! Enjoyed the fruits of your labor!

Luvs 'n hugs to you both!
Linda

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

8 posted 2003-07-14 07:11 PM


haha, me and Duncan actualy have something in comon- our favorite color is yellow

Don't it allways seem to go,
that you don't know what you've got till' it's gone
-counting crows

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
9 posted 2003-07-14 07:12 PM



A primary and colorful write!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
10 posted 2003-07-14 07:20 PM


When all the superlatives have been used..
may one just say...thank you for this!
~Smiles & hugs to you both, Nancy~

~If you haven't heard the sunset,
   you haven't been listening.~

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

11 posted 2003-07-14 07:24 PM


Liz----You are a trip kiddo, a challenging, colorful, unpredictable trip.  Hope we cleared up that scandalous line controversy.  I just get to rambling sometimes…   

Bigmike----Welcome to PIP and thanks for the read.  And yep, Wind wrote most the good lines!!!

Ed----Thank you and (somebody shot me now) we’re already working on another.  

Karen---I guess stranger things have happened, huh?  (Don’t tell her, ‘cause she’s already a bit cocky, but she’s pretty cool….for a brat)  

Kari---Actually, it was Ron’s “suggestion”.  Payback for something, no doubt.  
(btw…don’t think I didn’t see your little comment in that other thread this afternoon     

Riley---Thanks, that’s what we were going for!  You know Liz, all sugary…..

Linda---Hi and thanks for getting it.  Wind and I are both a bit “off the wall”.  

Kacy---Thanks…we tried!     

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

12 posted 2003-07-14 07:27 PM


Hey Nancy---Thanks and you're very welcome!  
Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

13 posted 2003-07-14 07:29 PM


sugery. How dare you. I do believe it was you who suggested "dark flowers" LOL, you aint so bad yourself. And accourding to you, I'm a brat, cocky, sugery and colorfull? eh... I tell you..

Don't it allways seem to go,
that you don't know what you've got till' it's gone
-counting crows

scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
14 posted 2003-07-14 08:03 PM


This is wonderfully combination of talent and creativity..

believe in what your heart feels...

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
15 posted 2003-07-14 08:29 PM


Impressive duetting you two!

Great show all the way around!



Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
16 posted 2003-07-14 08:33 PM


This is great!!!  You guys did better then good!
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

17 posted 2003-07-14 08:58 PM


Blood cupped daffodils
weep pekoe tea drops
-------------------------------
and contrition falls closer
to bitter than sweet.

My tears are broken.

I’ve wept blue for
every shade of red
I could never have,
till oceans lie in a pool
at my feet, asking
wade with me?

I would rather have roses
I would rather have thorns


=====================================

This is so VERY COOL!!!
what a clever and creative inspire..love the metaphor and theme play of the colors...and the whole angsty bleed of words...
superb writing you two...and yes..you definately need to do this again.!!


I’ve wept blue for
every shade of red
I could never have


whoa I love that part!!

Well ... OK ... but you have to wash it first.

(bumper sticker humor) ;)

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
18 posted 2003-07-15 10:18 AM


I’ve wept blue for
every shade of red
I could never have,
till oceans lie in a pool
at my feet, asking
wade with me?

I would rather have roses
I would rather have thorns

I would rather…

be bled
than wither

in the shade of tainted yellow

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohh!
Talented poets.
so this is the long awaited duet, i've been reading your hilarious thread in poetry challenge. lol. it was worth the wait.

This really does shine.


Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

19 posted 2003-07-15 10:19 AM


hehe (they always quote my lines...) I am a brat, aren't I... that's what he gets for calling me sugery

Don't it allways seem to go,
that you don't know what you've got till' it's gone
-counting crows

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
20 posted 2003-07-15 11:31 AM


Holy crap, that was excellent! Like great sex, can you do it again?

Susan C.

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
21 posted 2003-07-15 06:14 PM


enjoyed
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

22 posted 2003-07-15 06:16 PM


Well. Well... the slacker took a little direction from the brat and they came up with something both should be proud of.. how about that!

LOL  

Good work you two... I thought it would be an interesting pair... turns out you two are in fact an excellent pair....



Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
23 posted 2003-07-15 07:47 PM


Duncan And Wind,
Congrats to both a well done piece of work.

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