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Open Poetry #27
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Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455


0 posted 2003-07-13 08:01 PM



Stepping back to span
charred by disregard

tipped shards
of stale crimson
drip
to dormant tide
and I

expect no ripple
or reply
of consequence

© Copyright 2003 Duncan - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2003-07-13 08:05 PM



What a red haze
to bleed through...

well done, Sir

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

2 posted 2003-07-13 08:09 PM


Duncan, this is was aweome. And hopefully ours will be too. You're not a slacker at all. (ron tends to streatch the truth)

Don't it allways seem to go,
that you don't know what you've got till' it's gone
-counting crows

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2003-07-13 08:14 PM



...Damn

~If you haven't heard the sunset,
   you haven't been listening.~

Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
4 posted 2003-07-13 09:50 PM


Wow..

..this one's cool.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2003-07-14 12:23 PM


Stepping back to span
charred by disregard

tipped shards
of stale crimson
drip
to dormant tide

========================

WOOOO HOOOO....I knew it would happen sooner or later... the moth is rubbing off on you.
Did ya think I wasnt gonna catch the internal rhymes..the assonance...the hint of alliteration..the theme of aquarian influence LOL ...
oh yeah...its just happends...moth muse grows on ya like a weed

Hey CaptRon...ya know whats next dont ya???

YEPPERS....



lmao

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
6 posted 2003-07-14 01:10 AM


Well, Dunc, don't be looking for any Ripple either.


nice alliterative write from a porch puppy

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2003-07-14 01:45 AM


perty dern good
garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
8 posted 2003-07-14 01:58 AM


A very thought-provoking write, Sir.  
I enjoyed reading it.
Hugs to ya  
Ethel

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (07-14-2003 02:06 AM).]

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

9 posted 2003-07-14 07:53 AM


nicely done Dunc.... it through the red haze speaks volumes...

I enjoyed.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
10 posted 2003-07-14 01:03 PM


I love JM's enthusiastic reply to your poem! That goes double for me!

Warm hugs & smiles,
EA

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
11 posted 2003-07-14 03:56 PM


I wonder how it would go if we could step back, into the place we were, and redo it?
I feel this one, Dunc.
Sandra

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

12 posted 2003-07-14 04:13 PM


Tell me bud... if you could step back and make it different would you really?


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

13 posted 2003-07-14 08:46 PM


tipped shards
of stale crimson
drip
to dormant tide

==================

all moth teasing aside...I just came back to say how very very cool this one is...the imagery alone is striking.
Your poetry of late has taken on a new edge...its deeper...its maturing, the kind of growth that comes from when a poet peels back new muse layers..taps into new sources of emotions and influences.
I dont know if any of this makes sense but to  mothyme..but I do know I really like the direction your taking your poetry.

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (07-14-2003 08:46 PM).]

scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
14 posted 2003-07-14 09:23 PM


Simple but very powerfully written..

believe in what your heart feels...

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
15 posted 2003-07-14 09:26 PM


and I

expect no ripple
or reply

Well shoot and damn, oh sigh~

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