navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #27 » One True Evil _________(repost Rebel style for garysgirl)
Open Poetry #27
Post A Reply Post New Topic One True Evil _________(repost Rebel style for garysgirl) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia

0 posted 2003-07-12 02:09 PM


There is only one true evil she said
She said there is only one
The one true evil she said
The fish separated from the stream
the bird that doesn’t sing
the scorpion sans sting

one true evil she said
she said the man
disconnected the separated one
the man disconnected from
the universe the man
is the evil one

the fish out of the stream
the disconnection is the evil
she said
the disconnected is the evil
one

I am the evil she spoke of
I am the disconnected
one
I am the salmon that doesn’t swim
The sparrow without a din

I am the man the evil one
i am the evil she spoke of
the wolf that doesn’t cry
I am the evil she spoke of

The one true evil she said

I am the disconnected one
I am the one true evil

The evil she spoke of I am
I am the evil she spoke of I am
I am the evil
The one
True

She spoke to me of evil
I was the one

dis

connected

evil

Don't tell me to get a life -- I have one on backorder.


© Copyright 2003 Local Rebel - All Rights Reserved
Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
1 posted 2003-07-12 03:06 PM


Awesome style,
and a great write.

bslicker
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321
state of mind
2 posted 2003-07-12 03:52 PM


good write
bernie

A smile a day keeps the world in smile's.
Bernie Slicker

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

3 posted 2003-07-12 04:17 PM


Thanks for reposting it. I loved it, and Ethel will too, when she sees it

If art is still inside, I feel it
-Aaron Lewes

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
4 posted 2003-07-12 09:02 PM


Thank you, Local Reb, for reposting this. You know that I love this style. I'm going to save it and study it. LOL

"If I know there's no possible way I can change something....I push it to the back room
in my mind & slam the door on it." Gary~  Heart hugs, Ethel

Dylan
New Member
since 2003-07-12
Posts 7

5 posted 2003-07-12 09:07 PM


nightmarish, very clever, much enjoyed this read.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2003-07-12 09:07 PM



Keep teaching.

Us.

Jason Lyle
Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438
With my darkling
7 posted 2003-07-12 09:39 PM


yes, glad you reposted this.Good work, as usual.

Jason

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2003-07-12 09:49 PM


Rebel........That's why I likes ya!
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
9 posted 2003-07-13 02:24 AM


the wolf that doesn't cry

yeah...sigh

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
10 posted 2003-07-13 02:42 AM


..can't explain what you did, and why I love it..but I do..love it that is.

Sorry..my block won't even let me write a presentable response. Just know that I enjoyed this..and that I understand it.

You could hurt me with your bare hands. You could hurt me using the sharp edge of what you say. JEWEL

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
11 posted 2003-07-13 02:44 AM


Good God this is brilliance LR truly
xxoo

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
12 posted 2003-07-13 12:31 PM


Kaoru  -- thankyou for the words and smile

Bernie -- you smile an awful lot -- makes me wonder what you've been up to thankyou..

Wind -- *bow* gracias

Ethel -- somehow I thought you might like this ... thanks

Dylan -- yeah, nightmarish is probably a pretty good word -- thankyou

Sunshine -- thankyou m'lady  

Jason -- your acknowledgement is appreciated

Martie -- reciprocal respect


Don't tell me to get a life -- I have one on backorder.



[This message has been edited by Local Rebel (07-13-2003 12:32 PM).]

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
13 posted 2003-07-13 12:37 PM


dixie chick

jenn -- I don't know whatchu did but you did what you did and you did -- and I thank you!

lectricladylander -- your esteem is cherished -- hugszzzzz backatcha

Don't tell me to get a life -- I have one on backorder.


Janette
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843
Chicagoland for now
14 posted 2003-07-13 01:12 PM


Gulp!

This one fills the mind to over flowing.

Amazing write here.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
15 posted 2003-07-13 01:14 PM


enjoyed your style
M

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
16 posted 2003-07-13 01:31 PM


should I be reading you?

hope you aren't going to get my soul into any more trouble than it's already in....


suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
17 posted 2003-07-14 06:44 AM


The evil she spoke of I am
I am the evil she spoke of I am

But you're not totally without charm. *evil grin*

I'm glad you reposted this... you're always connected poetically. *S*

ambrish
Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 257
India
18 posted 2003-07-14 07:15 AM


great style
Carolina
Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 224
Myrtle Beach, SC
19 posted 2003-07-14 08:22 AM


I love this one, LR! Of course, I always love it Rebel-style
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
20 posted 2003-07-14 12:01 PM


I'd love to count but I wonder how many different words were actually used in this poem?  You seem to have done a lot of repetition.  It's probably not an accident, but I'm having a hard time understanding what all the repetition is supposed to do.  Is it just for the sake of style?  Or is it supposed to have a certain effect?

It's interesting.  Disconnection is evil... hmm... the scorpion without a sting, the fish out of the water, the bird that doesn't sing?

So to be evil is to be detached from your nature?  "Disconnected?"  Maybe I'm having a bit of a tough time with this and if so I apologize... would love to know in more detail what you mean in this poem, it's rather intriguing.

Parasite

Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
21 posted 2003-07-14 12:05 PM


Great write! Unique, thought-provoking--and very creative! An interesting read, Dear Rebel With A Cause!

Warm hugs,
EA

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

22 posted 2003-07-14 02:16 PM


ah, I remember this, and the story you once told, I do believe she was a smart woman, who even though departing, was connected...
is that not the question that lives inside us all...are you connected?
so...are you?
.....*shrug* been thinking bout you, on my knees...even dreamed you...odd seeing as how I never dream...sigh...
great thought provoking write

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #27 » One True Evil _________(repost Rebel style for garysgirl)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary