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Open Poetry #27
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Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida

0 posted 2003-07-11 03:53 PM




And now…
The words no longer as sharp
Just imbedded
Deep in flesh of mind

“With that attitude you will never have any friends.”

A lobotomy of words
Sections thrown away
With a sickening “plop”
Like raw meat on a specimen tray

“Your Navy moved us here.  
That’s why I can’t find a job.”

Leaving a void
Where other things should be
Yet better
Than the intentions of break

“Hey college girl, you’re so smart,
you going to leave me and make a new start?”

A hole or whole
It makes no difference
Because I am still here
And you are long gone

“No one else has a problem,
So it must be you.”

Your thesaurus is tainted
With green
And you know the truth
My silence frightens you

“Cheater”

The answers?
I do have friends
My Navy paid the bills
College girl has left the building
Then you shouldn’t miss me
And the last?
Hurt me, and I hurt back


© Copyright 2003 Susan Caldwell - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2003-07-11 03:58 PM


Grrrrr...

I KNOW this dialogue.

"“Hey college girl, you’re so smart,
you going to leave me and make a new start?”

I think I just got mad all over again.



(but...breathe...me gotta watch that temper of mine!)



This one CUT straight through, Susan.


Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
2 posted 2003-07-11 04:07 PM


Karen,

You to, huh?  

Susan

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
3 posted 2003-07-11 04:41 PM


Susan - you did write this one well. It seems at times they can never figure it out until it's too late...

BC

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
4 posted 2003-07-11 04:45 PM


Bill,

Thank you.  Some never figure it out...those are the ones that have to be cut out, completely and forever.  

Susan

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
5 posted 2003-07-18 03:15 AM



Susan...OUCH...this one hurts.
Big hugs,
~Vicky

"it is better to be a part of beauty
for one instant and then cease to
exist than to exist forever
and never be a part of beauty"
-- Don Marquis

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2003-07-18 03:16 AM


ouch... but good spunk at the end!
JaiOfHeaven
Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 207
California, Usa
7 posted 2003-07-18 03:26 AM


Being just a boy..
I don't really understand..
thus...I will refrain from that conversation
But I liked:

"A lobotomy of words
Sections thrown away
With a sickening “plop”
Like raw meat on a specimen tray"

That made me think crazy images.

Jai

Soleil Noir
Senior Member
since 2001-12-19
Posts 688
USA
8 posted 2003-07-18 12:12 PM


Some sunny person directed me to this...

unfortunately, folk like this
are too well known
to too many smart people -
what happened was
we let love get in the way
of our smarts.

Well done, Susan...

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
9 posted 2003-07-18 12:50 PM


"if you want to see your dreams come true....don't sleep."

"Love is grand, divorce is a hundred
grand"

"The last time I was inside a woman
was when I went to the statue of liberty.

"Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph
of hope over experience."

"It took me fifteen years to discover I had
no talent for writing poetry, but I couldn't
give it up...Balladeer showed up and I'd become too famous."

"What the world needs now is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left."

Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
10 posted 2003-07-21 06:54 AM


amazing!

[This message has been edited by Brad Majors (07-21-2003 06:55 AM).]

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