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Open Poetry #27
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catalinamoon
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

0 posted 2003-07-11 11:12 AM


He read me like a fairy tale
a prince of hidden knowledge true
He led me to the holy grail
a portrait of real love he drew.

He touched me as a white knight should
so gallant and so charming he
It wrote so well, he played it good
till my whole world was only we.

He even brought a slipper in
of course it fit my foot just so
No cleaning of an ashy bin
just love that caused a heart to glow.

But soon the fairy tale turned Grimm
no happy ever after here
One day I looked and saw just him
a frog who hid his likeness clear.

(I've kissed him now a thousand times
he's yet to change before my eyes)

© Copyright 2003 Sandra - All Rights Reserved
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
1 posted 2003-07-11 11:16 AM


That certainly is one Grimm fairy tale. Maybe some fairy dust will do the trick!

Warm hugs for a hurtin' heart,
EA

Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

2 posted 2003-07-11 11:18 AM


The happy ending lies within...always.
Great poem!
Eric

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
3 posted 2003-07-11 11:26 AM


this is so well done - a sad twist on the classic and you write it very well - Paul
Larry C
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Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
4 posted 2003-07-11 11:27 AM


I hate it when that happens...

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Goldenrose
Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665

5 posted 2003-07-11 11:30 AM


nice writing thank you for the words...

goldenrose.

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
6 posted 2003-07-11 12:24 PM


He touched me as a white knight should
so gallant and so charming he
It wrote so well, he played it good
till my whole world was only we.

Sweet poetess...this is quite a touching write and I feel as though I have lived it...sometime. Chris

"The years have seen my life through someone else's eyes....but now, it's..
my turn."

(Michael Masser~Carole Bayer Sager)
      

    

anwaarhassan
Member
since 2003-07-09
Posts 181
Menifee, CA
7 posted 2003-07-11 01:02 PM


Well written...I like the style...especially the underlying fairy tale theme...well done!!

Anwaar

Paul Wilson
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Member Elite
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711
United States
8 posted 2003-07-11 02:03 PM


Sandra~~~Enjoyed very much. I sure hope one day that frog becomes your prince.RIB-IT
I really enjoy your rhyme scheme.
Thanks for sharing...Paul

"To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you"

[This message has been edited by Paul Wilson (07-12-2003 06:21 AM).]

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

9 posted 2003-07-11 02:06 PM


This is most excellent and I love the word play!  
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
10 posted 2003-07-11 04:56 PM


catalinamoon - you still write as well as ever, sadness though I feel when reading this...

BC

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
11 posted 2003-07-11 05:00 PM


Sandra..what a wonderful write!
I so much enjoyed the read this afternoon.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~If you haven't heard the sunset,
   you haven't been listening.~

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
12 posted 2003-07-11 05:04 PM


Sandra...I used to believe in princes, but found humans so much more beautiful and real.  So many have lived your poem, including me...you wrote it well!  
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
13 posted 2003-07-11 08:15 PM


Sandra:

this is brilliant
xxoo

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
14 posted 2003-07-11 08:17 PM



The Grimm Brothers salute you!

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
15 posted 2003-07-12 09:00 AM


this frog is ruthless as he strikes, i've counted numerous victims,
is yours big fat ugly and strannge looking, but you just got sonnetized?
i can more than relate, girlfriend

Riley
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Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
16 posted 2003-07-12 09:40 AM


great job, i really liked it, and i don't usually like rhyme, but this was pretty good.


riley

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
17 posted 2003-07-12 10:11 AM


Sandra, you are back in good form.
I understand this one and enjoyed the comparisons of real and fantasy.
Hugss
M

garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
18 posted 2003-07-12 10:18 AM


Sandra, this is so sad, but yet beautiful.
I'm going to keep it so I can read it later
without having to search for it. Hope you
don't mind.  
Hugs  
Ethel

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
19 posted 2003-07-12 11:30 AM


I have read these tales
    time and time again,
    each word my heart pales
        because it can.

The moral misses,
    it's plain to see.
    A thousand kisses?
        Set your love free!


                    In the search for love,
                       letting go is the hardest part.

             Your heart still shines, Catilina.
                            *S  oxox
              
      
        

Patricia
Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160
Missouri
20 posted 2003-07-12 12:23 PM


I know too much about frogs, my friend.  Kicked more than a few off my lilypad.  Now there is one who I thought had prince potential...nah...he too is a frog.  

I am so sorry.  I guess it wouldn't help to tell you there are more frogs in your pond that may indeed have prince potential?

A great write.

Patricia

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
21 posted 2003-07-12 12:42 PM


Sandra, you are indeed a princess...keep trying for your prince
bslicker
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321
state of mind
22 posted 2003-07-12 03:48 PM


A smile a day keeps the world in smile's.
Bernie Slicker

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
23 posted 2003-07-12 03:55 PM



Sandra...I REALLY enjoyed reading this.
It's so good to have you posting again.
You were missed.
Hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
24 posted 2003-07-12 03:59 PM


*sigh* Hugs, I understand that one all too well. Beautifully expressed
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
25 posted 2003-07-12 04:40 PM


Come now...no frog is worthy of making a woman become unhappily ever after...I agree with Martie...forget the prince and look for a real man worthy of your affections...we all have been granted more than one chance for happiness...James

[This message has been edited by JamesMichael (07-12-2003 04:42 PM).]

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
26 posted 2003-07-12 05:22 PM


Love the idea and how you developed it. Really beautiful poem ... when the magic is gone no kisses will do the trick ...
Love and hugs. Margherita

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
27 posted 2003-07-12 05:37 PM


Just a great write all around always nice to see you posting
Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
28 posted 2003-07-12 06:01 PM


Hello Sandra

It's so nice to be able to read your words again and I really enjoyed this, even though it had a sad ending.  I hope all is well with you.

Take care......Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

Rosebud1229
Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813
North Carolina
29 posted 2003-07-12 07:22 PM


isn't this ironic, but so very cleverly wrote.
Midnitesun
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Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
30 posted 2003-07-12 09:07 PM


delightfully re-told fairytale
good to see you posting again, Sandra

VOE
Member
since 2003-07-10
Posts 119
From the land of Camelot
31 posted 2003-07-14 04:12 AM


As a lover of fairy tales, I thoroughly enjoyed the journey through your thoughts here!  Don't retract your kisses, as you never know which frog is really your Prince!

I speak from the Voice Of Experience

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