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Open Poetry #27
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Holding On
| Open Poetry #27 |
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Holding On |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass 
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Holding On She lifts a hand slightly, lets it fall, clutches again the wrinkled pillow waiting for tears. She leaves the covers where they are for now, and the pillow, how? How can there still be an indentation? Out through the window Venus or a star is fading down the sky like one last silent tear before the morning. The blanket’s edge lies soft between her thighs; she holds it for a moment, lets it go, leaves the covers where they are for now. Door closed, house asleep, still no tears come, the covers where they are for now, the wrinkled pillow cool, indented, no change but for the one bleak star that loses its far self against the vastness and is gone. [This message has been edited by Ratleader (07-11-2003 01:25 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved | |||
timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
 Very much enjoyed! |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
wow, this just takes my breath away. I just found myself in these lines, and I'm silenced. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed....The emotional pull of this poem just got to me, and you did it just with imagery. Terrific writing, my friend, stark and real!!  |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
What a fantastic poem. Enjoyed lots. Sandra |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
Always stirring in depths and detail. Eric |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
great writing Ed - lots of emotional appeal here with very well drawn images - it is great! Paul |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I've read this several times... find more with each reading... and plan on reading it many more times. *S* There's a gentleness to your images... but they pack a powerful emotional punch... leaving an aching emptiness... that pulls me right back to the top to read again. Stunning work! *S* |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Ed...Sad and touching. Enjoyed...Paul "To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you" |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Ed - this is beautiful in its sadness xxoo |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Surgical precision. ...the covers where they are for now. Excellent symbolism too Ed. Wonderful. TD |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Ratleader - I read this and thought many thoughts. Excellent write... BC |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
This is a very sensitive write and made me sigh ... Leaves a trace upon the heart. Love, Margherita  |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very beautifully sad |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Oh wow, this is wonderful! Many lines here that'll stick with me. Enjoyed |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Ed... wow |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Ed...I really enjoyed reading this one. Excellent imagery here...well done. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
this is so deep I found my self feeling many different emotions....I love that about your writing....hugssss Lauren~ Through the darkness |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Ed, you have a way of pulling your readers in and putting them right there...sometimes with force, sometimes with gentleness...but always there! This one was done with gentleness, where anyone reading it could understand and feel the emotions. Very good writng, friend.  Hugs Ethel |
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Bonnie j Senior Member
since 2003-06-27
Posts 1588Ohio |
As I read this one my mind starts to spin various tales to go with your words. A gentle breeze, a tear hidden near the surface of her shining eyes maybe she reaches gently to touch a cool indented pillow. She stands and gazes out the window to watch the last fading star as one lone tear slowly begins to fall. Thanks for sharing your words of poetry. Bonnie |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
hey, I haven't read anything by you for a while. I am glad I did because this was great. If art is still inside, I feel it |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
A neat reflection of intimate moments spent under bedcovers...as night inevitably becomes day and our grasp of that moment weakens or should I say we never have a hold on time  ...a pleasurable read[This message has been edited by ecrivan (07-13-2003 10:53 AM).] |
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Janette
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843Chicagoland for now |
Pooof! And another day ... begins. I am so glad I did not miss this one ... WOW ... a heart stopper. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Too many times I only have that pillow to hold onto...James |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
damn..amazing Ed wish i could respond better but this just ached |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Very, very nice Ed Smooooth |
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