For the girl I like, Tell me a title please?

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Open Poetry #27

For the girl I like, Tell me a title please?

LastMoments
Member

since 2003-03-07

Posts 92

0 posted 2003-07-10 11:36 PM

The wind had echoed your name
When the breeze caught my voice
And nothing came between us
In the arms of healing held
No shadow burdened deep enough
To break between the sunset eyes
That lies inside the special you
The place that means so much to me

Inside my wounds still covered up
They slowly bend to heal
And for once i trust myself
Enough to break and kneel
All the cuts so deep inside
Persuing all thats left
Will this trust still be there?
When I give in the rest?

I can't seem to accept
The person that I am
But it seems you have
Like the pain inside revealed
Taking out the mindless shadows
That display the child inside
And still I find you waiting
Inside the pond of life
To show me that your heart
Has molded in my eyes

And all the feeling multiplies
Inside this fading wind
Tracing down the endless whispers
That fall so deep within

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

1 posted 2003-07-10 11:46 PM

Enjoyed...I think a good title is "For The Girl I Like." James

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

2 posted 2003-07-11 12:02 PM

May I suggest, "Endless Whispers".

A beautiful poem that should touch the heart for whom it was intended.

Warm hugs,
Earth Angel

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

3 posted 2003-07-11 01:57 AM

Within A Fading Wind

This poem will move her, even if she's made out of concrete. Well done.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

4 posted 2003-07-11 02:51 PM

Beautiful and touchingly romantic! As for title, I usually take words from the body of the poem, how about, Echoes of Your Name?

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

5 posted 2003-07-11 03:08 PM

How about the Other side of Me, or "My love my Life", "Girl Your My Lifeforce"???? Or how about,the Other half of my soul? Beautiful poem...

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

6 posted 2003-07-11 05:09 PM

LastMoments - like your write. For a title, how about, 'This Fading Wind'...

BC

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

7 posted 2003-07-11 05:30 PM

This was beautiful, and I agree with A fading Wind

If art is still inside, I feel it
-Aaron Lewes

[This message has been edited by Wind (07-11-2003 05:39 PM).]

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