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Open Poetry #27
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Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2003-07-09 04:53 AM


there are times when I think
that I should be quiet
and put my thoughts to sleep
look ahead and shed broken skin
forget the times that we shared
under the great gig in the sky
when a thousand sparks of fireworks
crashed down
in a grand meteorite shower

we had shared a sacred space
on the musk-tinged park-bench
hand-in-hand and bodies stitched
wearing shadows as second skin
eyes starlit and throats croaky

oh, must have been love
but it’s over now


must give credit to wherever is due
for the lunatic is on the grass
and laughing in one great wild yawn
like a wolf in the dark side of the moon
when the sun is eclipsed by the moon

there, I have gone ahead and put
yet another brick in the wall
and hid the clouds
behind a tall dark fortress
and have become comfortably numb

some suggest that I have suffered
brain damage

-------

all italics are quotes from songs mostly from Pink Floyd and one from Roxette... so thanks to them

© Copyright 2003 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2003-07-09 04:55 AM


good write! i sometimes find inspiration from listening to songs
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
2 posted 2003-07-09 06:26 AM


I love the way you've woven your words with familiar lyrics... for a wonderful whole.*S*
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
3 posted 2003-07-09 06:29 AM


oh, must have been love
but it’s over now

it always is......
shine on you crazy diamond

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
4 posted 2003-07-09 06:33 AM


Wonderful, Sudhir!  I love the way you wove the song titles into this piece ... seamlessly and meaningfully. Beautiful sentiments and imagery here, my friend. A lovely read indeed!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

5 posted 2003-07-09 08:12 AM


Nice poem, and clever...I'll have the lunatic in my head all day now!
Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
6 posted 2003-07-09 09:56 AM


we had shared a sacred space
on the musk-tinged park-bench
hand-in-hand and bodies stitched
wearing shadows as second skin
eyes starlit and throats croaky

Man oh man, do I love this piece or what?!! Sudhir my smiling friend, this is wonderful and going into my libary! hugs, Chris  p.s. thanks for your kind words in Alley.

"Said you'd give me light...
...but you never told me about the fire."

~Stevie Nicks~  
      

    

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
7 posted 2003-07-09 10:00 AM


"wearing shadows as a second skin"--one of several creative and memorable lines.

Luvs 'n hugs,
EA

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2003-07-09 10:18 AM


Sudhir,
Well done, enjoyed the read.

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
9 posted 2003-07-09 10:19 AM


I loved how you wove the lyrics in with this....as always enjoyed it...

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
10 posted 2003-07-09 11:09 AM


Loved this write, Sudhir, and I still love to watch The Wall, and stomp my feet to Floyd's bricks in the wall tune.
If you have fluffy brain damage, then I want it too so I can write like you! LOL

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
11 posted 2003-07-09 11:17 AM


If fluffy brain damage cause one to write like this..
then I want some too!
Wonderful write m'friend!
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~If you haven't heard the sunset,
   you haven't been listening.~

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