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Open Poetry #27
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Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa

0 posted 2003-07-08 12:54 PM


Wistful was the gaze of a man toward a grave,
his stance a frozen molecule confined within the past,
as overhead an eagle cried and swooped to land
before rising up again and flying out of sight.

To be as such and disappear like a body born alive
and who would remember how air was once disturbed?
Who would recall how once a heart was heard
beating full and vibrant in the glory of the world?

And then he moved away fearful lest he stray
back to hopeful looks into future’s face  
before like an eagle it up and flew away.  

He saw the way to go, the path lay lush and green,
yet he hacked at the undergrowth of disbelief and fear
till emerging once again as a product of his youth
that overcame the obstacle of true abiding love.

He kicked at the earth, dust rose into the air,
his strength likened to a stone moved off to the side,
and he rested in a vacuum of inner turmoil, pain,
listlessly awaiting the apology of soul.

Yet all of us together, bound, tied, in life’s dismay
wonder at the seemingly unfilled atmosphere
inhaled to keep us living like empty vessels stored
in a cupboard of heartache until the final call.

One day perhaps the man, me, you, will return again
and surrender to, not overcome, the obstacle of love
but meanwhile there’s the world so despicably cruel
and no air is disturbed by our time spent here on earth!    


© Copyright 2003 Helen - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2003-07-08 01:03 AM


Very intense, Helen, and well written.

*sigh* but I think I was born to disturb the air

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
2 posted 2003-07-08 11:11 AM


Thanks Midnitesun.  Yes, we all try to disturb the air but "at the end of the day" it looks just the same.  
Tim
Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794

3 posted 2003-07-16 12:40 PM


You put some thought into your poem, and it shows by its quality. Enjoyed.
timothysangel1973
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725
Never close enough
4 posted 2003-07-16 12:53 PM




Very much enjoyed Honey

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
5 posted 2003-07-16 01:03 AM


Thank you, Tim and Timothysangel, for reading and commenting.  I'm glad you enjoyed it.
JaiOfHeaven
Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 207
California, Usa
6 posted 2003-07-16 03:25 AM


Made me feel as though I was reading a saga...really was a story. short story anyway...great quality.
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2003-07-16 10:51 AM


Honeybunch...You look at the world and people with thoughtful eyes....your poems reflect a beautiful spirit.  This person sounds familiar, perhaps he is everyone?
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2003-07-16 10:51 AM


Honeybunch...You look at the world and people with thoughtful eyes....your poems reflect a beautiful spirit.  This person sounds familiar, perhaps he is everyone?
garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
9 posted 2003-07-16 11:01 AM


One day perhaps the man, me, you, will return again
and surrender to, not overcome, the obstacle of love


Helen, this is really beautiful writing...
all of it. This ending just has such a longing . I really enjoyed reading this.
Hugs  
Ethel    


Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
10 posted 2003-07-16 11:04 AM


Thanks, JaiOfHeaven.  Short stories are my "speciality" especially on a Sunday night!

And Martie - Yes, the man is "everyone" at least for some of the time and, you know what, I don't think there's a place for "beautiful spirits" in this world.

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
11 posted 2003-07-16 11:12 AM


Thank you, Ethel, for reading and enjoying my ramble.  I appreciate you commenting.
icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
12 posted 2003-07-16 11:38 AM


We are all stardust; our lives, our thoughts, hopes dreams, sins and blessed deeds, are dust motes stirred in the sunlight by a primal breeze.  The best we can do sometimes is to take notice as they form and drift away.

Always thought provoking is your work.  Thank you.

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
13 posted 2003-07-16 03:21 PM


Hi, Icebox!  I think those who don't take notice are better off but not to do so is perhaps a "sin".  Always hard to watch things drifting by but we do it and we survive!  Thanks for the read.
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
14 posted 2003-07-16 11:48 PM


Very nicely done! Thickly layered...Dark
~wranx

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
15 posted 2003-07-17 12:18 PM


Thank you, wranx.  I appreciate you reading and commenting.
ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
16 posted 2003-07-17 09:20 PM


Interesting use of imagery, enjoyed


Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
17 posted 2003-07-17 10:55 PM


Very very nicely written and very much enjoyed!
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~ I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before ~

Foxyoasis
Senior Member
since 2003-06-10
Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla
18 posted 2003-07-17 11:07 PM


very good

Fool me once shame on you.....Fool me twice shame on me.....


Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
19 posted 2003-07-18 12:50 PM


Thanks you, Ecrivan, Enchantress & Foxyoasis.  It's always an honour when people read what I write and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
20 posted 2003-07-18 03:24 AM


wow! i have to agree with icebox here...a "thinker" write
Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
21 posted 2003-07-18 11:02 AM


  'Tis the heart that "thinks" when the brain has passed it's sell-by date!  Thanks Passing Shadow.  I appreciate you reading and commenting.
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