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Open Poetry #27
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wranx
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since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

0 posted 2003-07-07 01:58 PM


It’s Sunday
Laundry day

The day I take hard working clothes
Out for a bit of recreation
Treating them to coin-operated amusement rides

And while they enjoy their day off
I set about mine
In the Sports Bar next door

With an open bottle and an open notebook
And “The Rolling Stones”
Pouring freely through my headphones

“When the wind blows, and the rain feels cold”

Adding my own soundtrack to the several TVs
Each displaying its own frenetic flicker
Of pitched contests, pitched balls and pitched ovals

“In the window, there’s a face you know”
“Don’t the night pass slow, don’t the night pass slow?”


Letting the last track drown the college boys
In acoustic strum and insistent drum

“I am sleeping under strange, strange skies”
and upon wakening, see the road stretch before me
curving and narrow
a place without season in perpetual twilight
“Just another bad, bad dream”

“I’m hidin’ sister, and I’m dreaming”
trying to envision what lies around the next bend
wondering what the pale illumination will reveal
“I’m hidin’ Baby, and I’m dreamin’”

“I’m just about a moonlight mile”
between stark trees, dressed in blue monochromes
branches bending low to usher me along
“on down the road”

“I’m riding down your moonlight mile”
toward whatever awaits me, be it salvation
or another less attractive fate
“Let it go now”

[This message has been edited by wranx (07-07-2003 01:59 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
1 posted 2003-07-07 02:02 PM


Good God, you are reading my mind . . .
xxoo

Sunshine
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2003-07-07 02:03 PM


I can only hope
the laundry came out as clean
as the whistle for this gem...

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
3 posted 2003-07-07 02:08 PM


Sorry, but the best lines in this were written by Jagger and Richards...Damn!
Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2003-07-07 02:15 PM


Letting the last track drown the college boys
In acoustic strum and insistent drum

============================
and upon wakening, see the road stretch before me
curving and narrow
a place without season in perpetual twilight
=======================

trying to envision what lies around the next bend
wondering what the pale illumination will reveal
==============================
between stark trees, dressed in blue monochromes
branches bending low to usher me along
=============================
toward whatever awaits me, be it salvation
or another less attractive fate
===============================

you say "they" wrote the best lines....
I disagree...its more that "they" inspired some awesome lines in you.

Well ... OK ... but you have to wash it first.

(bumper sticker humor) ;)

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2003-07-07 02:20 PM


I never could let anything go, Ed.

Gotta learn that one, myself.

It sure makes a house a wreck and the family album looks kinda funny with all those non-related "uncles" in there too.

*weak smile* ?

Loved this.

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
6 posted 2003-07-08 01:38 PM


The day I take hard working clothes
Out for a bit of recreation
Treating them to coin-operated amusement rides

The moment I read those lines, I knew that your poem would be FAR more interesting than any washateria I've visited! *S*

I like this very much, wranx... and "they" only wrote the best lines if your name is Jagger or Richards. *S*

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
7 posted 2003-07-08 01:42 PM


Treating your work clothes to coin-operated amusement rides! Brilliantly humorous and you shall forever pop into my mind whenever I pass a laundromat!

Love, Light & Laughter,
EA

Midnitesun
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
8 posted 2003-07-08 04:09 PM


yes,
Stones washed denims are the best.


Ed, you've managed to make laundry seem interesting...that's almost a miracle.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

9 posted 2003-07-08 04:13 PM


(chuckling)... well I am still smarting from getting spanked over in poetry challenge by Wind...

tough crowd.... LMAO...


nice work ed...and as for the best lines I too have to disagree..

Gina Culliney
Member
since 2003-03-08
Posts 170

10 posted 2003-07-09 04:22 PM


This was a good piece of work!  Well done
and cunning too!

Midnitesun
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since 2001-05-18
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Gaia
11 posted 2003-07-09 04:25 PM


wow, where did the poem go?
my screen just shows your name....and it looks like a scissors attacked the whole post
GRRR!
OK. so now it suddenly re-appeared...
thank goodness! because I need to be re-inspired to attack my laundry pile today


[This message has been edited by Midnitesun (07-09-2003 04:27 PM).]

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
12 posted 2003-07-10 12:45 PM


*laugh*  I did my laundry years ago at a place that had a bar attached on one side and an ice cream place on the other; internal doorways for winter convenience.  It was great, my clothes would spend the day with Blue Cheer and I would spend it with Wild Turkey, until the morning I had to take a service physical in pink underwear (washed a new red sweatshirt with them - it "shared" its enthusiasm for its color.)

After tha I didn't drink until that last load was in the washing machine.

By the way, Janet Marie got the great lines thing right on target.  Thanks for sharing this poem.

garysgirl
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since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
13 posted 2003-07-10 12:59 PM


LOL at Iceman's pink underwear...and having to take a physical in them in the service???  


I hope none of your undies get turn different colors, Ed. LOL

I'm sorry, that tickled me. HeeHee!!

I really did like your poem...especially this part...

“I’m just about a moonlight mile”
between stark trees, dressed in blue monochromes
branches bending low to usher me along
“on down the road”

“I’m riding down your moonlight mile”
toward whatever awaits me, be it salvation
or another less attractive fate
“Let it go now”


Very very good.  


"If I know there's no possible way I can change something....I push it to the back room
in my mind & slam the door on it." Gary~  Heart hugs, Ethel

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
14 posted 2003-07-10 01:29 AM


agreeing with everyone above here...good write, damn good
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
15 posted 2003-07-10 08:49 AM


Well now between JM and icebox there is not a darn thing I can add except that I actually went to a laudromat last week (my first time!), and trust me all it inspired in me was a lot of foul language it was hot, uninteresting, and expensive, not to mention there was no bar or ice cream parlour attached.  Some guys get all the luck on laundry day - or do they?  Great write Ed and wear your headphones to bed will ya, so we get more of this great stuff for breakfast?
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
16 posted 2003-07-10 09:05 AM


wranx
Good thoughts, good write, good read.
Our thoughts take different paths but the same destination.

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
17 posted 2003-07-21 01:33 PM


in your own world

miles away

awesome Ed

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
18 posted 2003-07-21 01:51 PM


Ed...Just don't wash that Sunday notebook in your mind.  Enjoyed this!
Ringo
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since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes
19 posted 2003-07-21 02:40 PM


Where do you do your laundry???? All I ever seem to attempt to drown out is the screams of several unwashed kids running and fighting... usually over my freshly folded clothes.
Great job.

We see the light of those
Who find the world has passed them by
Too late to save a dream from growing cold...

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
20 posted 2003-07-21 08:02 PM


Thanks everyone, for helping with the laundry.

Seems that some stains just wont come out though....


Ed

"You shouldn't be surprised at what happens next"


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