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Open Poetry #27
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Better Than TV (In My Neighbourhood)
| Open Poetry #27 |
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Better Than TV (In My Neighbourhood) |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space 
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Every night I pulled up a chair and watched the secrets of the street unfold you can learn alot from a tenth story balcony Like what a gunshot sounds like sometimes in the distance once off my balcony railing it could have been a BB gun that time I never stayed to find out I crawled back inside my belly to the floor You learn the willpower or was it stubborness? of a man still trying to stand as a group of teens beat him with hockey sticks his daughter and neighbours watching calmly as they did You learn to see beauty even in the ugliness as you watch the night sky set alight like a christmas tree in the red and blue flash of almost twenty cop cars surrounding the project across the street on another manhunt A car crash here a dumpster fire there always something happeneing always something to watch more entertaining than anything I could watch on television but only because I was so young and didn't have the sense to be horrified yet [This message has been edited by Aenimal (07-07-2003 12:36 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved | |||
Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
you scare me. To quote Gem "you're giving me the shivers" hehe. I'm running out of colors, but you never run out of ideas I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war, |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
you do not blow chunks.  keep em coming. |
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Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
I pulled up a chair and watched the secrets of the street unfold" drops you right into the words.....what a powerful feel.... Lauren~ Through the darkness |
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ptwils165 Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 50 |
I really liked this one, it has a clarity and starkness that really seems to fit in with the content of the verse. Youthful eyes, and things so desparate that they jump out of any picture to the foreground. Not sure if there's a typo in the last stanza, or is it supposed to be 'I so young'? - if it is, maybe you could do something with the punctuation, probably just me but something distracted me in that line. great sutff, mind. nice one. |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Raffaele, I had to catch my breath. It felt as if I was the one living this experience. This is reality! And this powerful poetry should be diffused! Il mondo è pieno di orrori, ma non dobbiamo perdere la speranza! tvb Margherita |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Oooh, Raph, this is awesome. Did you ever see the movie with Jimmy Stewart, Rear Window? Yikes. Your poem reminded me of that. Loved this. Chris "Said you'd give me light... |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Liz I scare you? But i took down my pic! Thanks for reading and we'll have to load some new colors for you Gem technicolor lunch but I'll keep trying lol Thanks Lauren I liked the opening too ptwils No it was an error thanks for catching it!!Thanks for the reply and the catch Margherita grazie e lo so che ce cosi belle nel mondo pure ma ha tanto tempo che no lo vedi quello cosi..and my itlian sucks Chris i did great movie! Thanks for the reply |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
I pulled up a chair and watched the secrets of the street unfold Raph, I like "pulling up my chair and watching the secrets of the streets unfold" through your poetry. You are real, Raphey. Gary tells me some stories of his past that would make you shiver, too. I wish he had a computer so that he could put some of his poetry on here. You would like his style, though most of his stuff would have to go into the Dark Forum....all except his love poems to me. I'm enjoying your series, my friend, even if it is about what reality was.  Hugs  Ethel |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
Raph, I'm 33 and still don't have the sense to be horrified yet |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Raph: You learn to see beauty even in the ugliness a hard thing to do indeed Was questioning this very thought myself the past week Please put these together I think, no, I know you have something here worth getting out to the world continue telling . . . please xxoo |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
set alight like a christmas tree in the red and blue flash of almost twenty cop cars surrounding the project across the street on another manhunt yes it could be beautiful in a perverse way. i imagine, and yes we do become desensitized at times, unfortunately there is just so much evil and ugliness out there insightful thoughts, raf |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Some kind of homey, like shattered glass. *smile* Excellent work, Sir. |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
I think I've got the cure for your remedy  a little old-fashioned nonsense |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
"You learn to see beauty even in the ugliness. more entertaining than anything I could watch on television but only because I was so young and didn't have the sense to be horrified yet." ________________________________ A powerful description of the desensitization of today's youth. You've made me say DAMN! again, this is excellent writing of an often harsh world. Luckily, I don't think that I'll ever be numb to the tragedys of the world...but then again, like I told you earlier, when I hurt myself, I laugh, it's entertaining because of what I saw and suffered from as a child from my father. So it's really all the same if you think about it. So perhaps in some weird way, I am slowly becoming insensitive? Melissa Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world! |
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Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
Just isn't how I pictured Canada. Nice write. Jason |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Thanks Ethel glad you enjoy them Dixie neither do I really, when i retell these stories it's matter of factly or even as a humorous anecdote until i see the faces of the people im telling Sue hard to write things youd be much better off forgetting but then i always do that dont i Mish you know me..perverse lol Thanks ice nice description lol Wind agreed lets parteh hardeh melissa stop it before it consumes you is all i can say, yeah i know hypocrite right? Still you can't let this crap win theres beauty to be found Well Jason I live in the largest city in canada and as the urban centre(NY North) of the country you're bound to see some crap,but again as I've said i have friends in the states specifically Detroit and have heard the stories that make this look like club med.. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Beauty out of ugliness -- that takes a poet, for sure. Well done, my man...well done. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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dreambuilder Member
since 2003-03-23
Posts 319caddyshack |
wow sounds like you live in Canada lol - just teasing ya good write |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
This is an excellent piece of work. I am reading works out loud tonight while my 12 years daughter listens...her response..."Now that is good." I wonder...you weren't old enough to be horrified when you saw these daily horrors, but seeing them throughout you childhood, how does it affect you now when you see or hear them...whether in the news or on the streets? I am enjoying your work, so very thought provoking. Patricia |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Thanks Ed appreciate your support as always LOL Dream well thank god it's not Buffalo or Rochester..wheeeeeew phbllllllt Patricia I'm overly sensitive somedays and completely desensitized on others. I can just as easily get depressed about these kind of situations as i can laugh about them. All in all I think they've bettered me as a person you learn to empathize and also learn there's always someone worse off than you are |
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