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Open Poetry #27
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BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside

0 posted 2003-07-06 10:53 PM



I've poured through the emptiness
looking to recycle the best part of me
something of significance
while you passed out rain checks for my hard earned love.

Complete with rebates that filled your empty heart
that you couldn't afford to reimburse
and it pains me to sit beside the curb
while you keep adding to my baggage.

Discarded in the wrong bin
without a promise that I ever mattered
I would rather be thrown into a cart
and shop lifted out the door.

Instead, I have paid the price
for everything I thought to offer
like a bottle of cheap champagne
that makes my head ache and my heart break.

I feel like a plastic cover
a make shift for my own bed
staking a claim beneath the bridge
a resting place to call my own
and sleep you off.

~*~


© Copyright 2003 BluesSerenade - All Rights Reserved
QjQ
Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.
1 posted 2003-07-07 12:09 PM


fabulous...  enjoyed reading...

A voice of honesty
   is treasured
more than voices
   of flattery
      QjQ


icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
2 posted 2003-07-07 12:16 PM


"I've poured through the emptiness
looking to recycle the best part of me
something of significance
while you passed out rain checks for my hard earned love."

Ohhh...such hard feelings to bear, such a good write to share!

Sleep and feel better soon.

Thank you for sharing this.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
3 posted 2003-07-07 12:27 PM


Oh, there is a lot of aching going on in this write, bluesygal.
Sounds like two bottles might be required.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
4 posted 2003-07-07 12:37 PM


excellent idea Bluesy . . .
Goddd I know this one well
Dont you ever let anyone treat
you so . . . please
(where are they, I'll get 'em)
lol
*smile*
tweets
xxoo

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
5 posted 2003-07-07 01:33 AM


Thanks you guys for easing my pain, you are truly an alternative medicine that works every time.

Oh gawd it's almost Monday!!

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
6 posted 2003-07-07 08:51 AM


Oh I felt that one!  Yesterday while shopping I bought an urn that has on the front "Ashes of Ex-Husband(s)" and I told the lady had she of put that on the counter where it could be seen better, she would make a "killing!"  LOL, oh you know me - humor in everything even loss and pain, turn it around and learn from it, and take it with you to the next to not repeat the cycle right?  Nicely done.
gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
7 posted 2003-07-07 08:57 AM


Instead, I have paid the price
for everything I thought to offer
like a bottle of cheap champagne
that makes my head ache and my heart break.

I feel like a plastic cover
a make shift for my own bed
staking a claim beneath the bridge
a resting place to call my own
and sleep you off.

Lori, gawddd do i know this? you say it so painfully, and so so well. always a pleasure to read your words, however painful they are.

we love ya gal

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

8 posted 2003-07-07 02:35 PM


and it pains me to sit beside the curb
while you keep adding to my baggage.

=============================

damn ..........................

*big mothy sigh*

*big mothy hug*

Well ... OK ... but you have to wash it first.

(bumper sticker humor) ;)

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
9 posted 2003-07-07 04:41 PM


and it pains me to sit beside the curb
while you keep adding to my baggage.

great lines, and i can understand the sentiment too unfortunately

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
10 posted 2003-07-07 04:43 PM


Quite well done Blue one...
These lines were all thoughtful and pointed.
Quite clear in your own unique style.
Hugs for the sentiment, applause for the write. TD

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
11 posted 2003-07-07 04:46 PM


Hope good things happen for you...James
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
12 posted 2003-07-07 10:24 PM


and it pains me to sit beside the curb
while you keep adding to my baggage.

Discarded in the wrong bin
without a promise that I ever mattered

I know that curb and bin well... and it's tough to remember that anyone who can't offer that promise shouldn't matter. *S*

Painful write, Blues... but an excellent one!

Janette
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843
Chicagoland for now
13 posted 2003-07-07 10:47 PM


You said it Lady ... hear hear ... that's telling him ... excellent vent.

Enjoyed.

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
14 posted 2003-07-07 11:39 PM


I've poured through the emptiness
looking to recycle the best part of me
something of significance
while you passed out rain checks for my hard earned love.

Complete with rebates that filled your empty heart
that you couldn't afford to reimburse
and it pains me to sit beside the curb
while you keep adding to my baggage.


Lori, this hurt me to read it. I'm so sorry that someon made you feel this way.
Heart hugs, my friend  
Ethel

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
15 posted 2003-07-08 02:51 AM


What a great title!--"Cheap Champagne" Love the double entendre!

Poem packs a poignant punch!

Warm hugs,
EA
P.S. I just read the reply that I made to your reply to my poem "strawberry kisses".
I mistakenly left out a couple of words and those omissions totally put my reply out of context!!!!!!! I had meant that we could share STORIES OF our summer love!!! Wow! What a difference a couple of words make! LOL

Warm hugs,
EA

[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (07-08-2003 01:50 PM).]

IntoTheFlames
Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 92
Va, USA
16 posted 2003-07-08 02:00 PM


Excellent Write!!

~*Summer*~

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