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Open Poetry #27
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Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981


0 posted 2003-07-06 04:02 PM



You say my heart is numb,
That I’ve grown cold

Fire was never my element-
I’ve been burned
Too many times

And I see you shiver,
When I come near
And you-
With those frost-bitten lips
You can never go back

You were wrong.
I was always cold


I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war,
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
-coldplay


[This message has been edited by Wind (07-06-2003 04:11 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Liz - All Rights Reserved
QjQ
Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.
1 posted 2003-07-06 04:12 PM


nicely expressed,,,

A voice of honesty
   is treasured
more than voices
   of flattery
      QjQ


gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
2 posted 2003-07-06 04:30 PM


~shivering~

You were wrong.
I was always cold

Liz, this is classic you. oh how you haunt me so well. this truly did give me shivers. your words are great therapy y know?

into my library, again.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2003-07-06 04:37 PM


Liz, this is fantastic!
You have a very unique way of expressing yourself..wonderful!
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~If you haven't heard the sunset,
   you haven't been listening.~

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
4 posted 2003-07-06 04:38 PM


Fire was never my element-
I’ve been burned
Too many times

Liz those are the best lines I've read in awhile..so many of us can relate. Awesome writing!!

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

5 posted 2003-07-06 04:48 PM


QjQ- I like to express myself, thanks

Gemma- hehe, what's classic for me? free verse or...whatever it is I write? Thanks honey.

Nancy- You are such a sweetheart, thanks

Raph- thats one of the best replys I've heard for a while

I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war,
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
-coldplay

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
6 posted 2003-07-06 04:49 PM


Liz, I'm impressed that a young person like you can write such a raw emote.

I, too, agree with Raph...those lines are excellent and hit hard.  In fact, he was the one who referred me to this poem...and it's a keeper ~

Melissa

Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world!

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
7 posted 2003-07-06 05:34 PM


Brr I hope you are not quite this cold. Great image.
Sandra

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
8 posted 2003-07-06 05:40 PM


Liz, you do have a talent, my little friend.
What makes it more amazing to me is that you
have such an ability to write so deeply of
something that isn't even real...
Even though I don't know you personally, I have
seen enough of you on here and in the discusions
boards to know that you are a very warm person and have a very caring heart.
Heart hugs to you, little lady  
Ethel

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2003-07-06 05:41 PM


BOOM.

That was my first thought after reading this.

Lots of impact in a few words. And you excel at that.

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

10 posted 2003-07-06 06:08 PM


Nice to see that everyone knows that this isn't real. I usualy scare the heck out of everyone

I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war,
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
-coldplay

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
11 posted 2003-07-09 07:53 AM





Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

12 posted 2003-07-09 08:27 AM


(chuckling) you scare us all Wind...

seriously..well done.. distilled into the essence of the idea and presented with a flow that captures the readers attention..holds it..and then leave them as if kicked in the gut...


Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

13 posted 2003-07-09 08:39 AM


Thanks, you two

Gumdrop, you little bumper
And El Capitan, I like to kick em right were it hurts.

I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war,
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
-coldplay

Jason Lyle
Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438
With my darkling
14 posted 2003-07-09 08:47 AM


ouch, dont kick me there! it hurts

Jason

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