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Open Poetry #27
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| Open Poetry #27 |
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History |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn 
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A man Much like you or I once looked out over a valley with its verdant hills and the stream that defined it He saw there the trails he had made Trails indistinguishable from those of deer or elk or other men And in his minds’ eye saw where they led To the copse where berries were sweetest The gully that made the killing easy And the clearing where he discovered that fornication was something…more Inside his shelter he noticed more of his life The implements he’d made The furs that once kept them warm The place where she would sit and smile And the hearth they shared From which he’d taken the cold charcoal Chewed it into paste and spat it between his splayed fingers around his hand, onto the stone wall Making the statements “I am here” “I still live” Birthing poetry |
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| © Copyright 2003 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
 BRAVO! for cave man poetry. What a cool post, Ed. Me woman... Me like... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
wranx, I can see that, enjoyed. [This message has been edited by Seymour Tabin (07-05-2003 07:53 AM).] |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
And what fine offspring he's produced..excellent Ed |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
We're all in his debt. *S* Excellent write! *S* |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
damn |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
--and history has a habit of repeating itself... Poetry, from its conception to its birthing can be an arduous, yet highly rewarding process. Another fine delivery, Dear Ed! EA |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Boy we have come a long way baby, from yucky chewed charcoal to felt pens but I like how we got there  Cool write dude! |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Have you been peeking into my past?  |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
always neat stuff from you, awesome ending |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed...everything and its beginning, even before the charcoal, the need to tell. Enjoyed this! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I know where this place is.... I thought it well hidden. But the searchers always seem to find it. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You write a fine beginning, Ed. You honor the ancestral origen with this and indeed, 'tis lovely. I love the way you think. |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
"And in his minds’ eye saw where they led" Enjoyed your take on this...as always.  (Have no idea why, but those two lines wrote the whole story for me...) |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
an animated narrative certainly... deliberate  |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
and thus . . it continues . . . brilliant Ed, you WRITER you lol xxoo |
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2dalimit Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228Mississippi coast |
Take comfort in a job well done. Enjoyed it, Melton |
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Bonfirelight Member
since 2003-06-19
Posts 85London, England |
good job. i still live. wicked  |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Making the statements “I am here” “I still live” Birthing poetry'' complete awe of your words... Lauren~ Through the darkness |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
I think it has taken me this long to come to terms with this write I said "Damn" speechless but I was thinking about this one I think Ed that this poem is one of the best I have ever read not least the best of yours deserves to be in a book in Borders it does |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Yup I agree with Brain.... I can't believe I missed this, I just can't. keeping this m'friend. Maree fate is not just |
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