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Open Poetry #27
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dusted intentions
| Open Poetry #27 |
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dusted intentions |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298
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we paid fare for the trip you and I but the actual boarding proved more difficult than imagined you deemed my baggage overweight but you would not remove your grasp so that I could unpack it defensively I pointed to the size of yours and with gloves off we went at it the oncoming train was getting louder and louder the platform was overcrowded so before one more but you could appear on the scene I quickly jumped in front of the approaching train so angry was I that I overshot my mark and rolled to a halt on the other side I got up and dusted of my obvious intentions walked away, with no regrets for belongings left behind... you always wanted to hold on to them much more than I [This message has been edited by jellybeans (07-01-2003 02:23 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
wow..this packs one heck of a punch! fantastic!  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
JB.... just shaking my head.... in awe. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
we paid fare for the trip you and I but the actual boarding proved more difficult than imagined you deemed my baggage overweight but you would not remove your grasp so that I could unpack it defensively I pointed to the size of yours and with gloves off we went at it I don't know which verse I felt more...but "the actual boarding" made me think of my own personal hang ups...of starting new Very nice, JB M |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
walked away, with no regrets for belongings left behind… you always wanted to hold on to them much more than I I'm glad those intentions yielded nothing more than dusty britches, resolve, and wonderful poetry. *G* Both powerful and poignant, lady... wonderful write. *S* |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
"I quickly jumped in front of the approaching train so angry was I that I overshot my mark and rolled to halt on the other side I got up and dusted of my obvious intentions walked away, with no regrets for belongings left behind… you always wanted to hold on to them much more than I" ___________________________________ Damn, this is powerful! I'm at a loss for words, you write so unbelieveably well and I always seem to relate or stand in awe. This is a keeper! Melissa~ Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
beautifully sad and powerful write, I will always read you, until I can't read anymore |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Another "brill" from your quill!  Huggums, EA |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
SEA and sunshine, thank you so much...how my disfunctional life can create awe is beyond me, I just have to be the one to write it nt, I know...it must have taken 5 minutes to write this, it just poured out, and I couldn't say which verse hits me harder...sigh thank you suthern, you know I have a vested interest in the afterlife, so my intentions were more wordy than accurate....but I love you for caring honeybee, thank you so much, again, am so flattered that you find my work impelling ps...yep lady, I know that you relate...sigh, and you see the sadness ea, thank you so much |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Wow -- nicely done! Powerful use of imagery and movement -- I like this very much. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Wowowow! Awesome concept, really enjoyed this .  |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
ratleader and kaoru, thank you much...am glad this is yesterday and not today....am too tired today to jump in front of anything ...lol |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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