navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #27 » What I Did With My Saturday Night (For You)
Open Poetry #27
Post A Reply Post New Topic What I Did With My Saturday Night (For You) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

0 posted 2003-07-01 02:11 AM



What I did?
sat here trying to write the words
that choke my heart
while missing you
thinking you here
willing you out of that cage
you lock yourself in for someone else's sake.
I breathed
I loved
I missed your touch
and hated you at the same time
for making tears come
when I can't make them come myself.
I didn't fling myself on the mercy of men
and hope to be carried away in strong arms
and
I
am
Tired
of trying to make you believe
that my poetry
is sometimes just my inner rages
wreaking havoc on my will.
So forgive me
if this
isn't the best me you've ever known
or if this poem isn't one of my masterpieces
but I'm waiting for you to work it out
so you don't have to wonder
what I did with my Saturday night.



You could hurt me with your bare hands. You could hurt me using the sharp edge of what you say. JEWEL

© Copyright 2003 Jennifer - All Rights Reserved
Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
1 posted 2003-07-01 02:40 AM


So forgive me
if this
isn't the best me you've ever known...

oh my!!! this is truly a wonderful piece of poetry! Brava Bella!  Roniece Dawson-Bruce

Moonlight Romeo
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-09-10
Posts 982
The heart of you
2 posted 2003-07-01 04:54 PM


It just goes to show that, sometimes, the words do not reflect reality.

Thank you.

Peace is the only battle worth waging.
--- Albert Camus

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
3 posted 2003-07-01 05:52 PM


Not your best?  Perhaps...but this
bittersweet write is very powerful in
emotions and the message.  I would
say it is one of your best.  

Janette
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843
Chicagoland for now
4 posted 2003-07-01 11:04 PM


I would say that you did an excellent job of telling him what you did.  

And I hope he listens and then ... understands ... and then ... does something to fix it.

Powerful write here dear Lady.

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
5 posted 2003-07-01 11:13 PM


So forgive me
if this
isn't the best me you've ever known
or if this poem isn't one of my masterpieces


Jenn, I believe this is one of your best because it comes straight from your heart.

Lady, I really hope that the person this is intended for sees this and does something to improve the situation. You are reaching out very effectively.

Thanks for letting us see a piece of your heart.  
Hugs  to you  
Ethel

timothysangel1973
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725
Never close enough
6 posted 2003-07-01 11:45 PM


of trying to make you believe
that my poetry
is sometimes just my inner rages
wreaking havoc on my will.
So forgive me
if this
isn't the best me you've ever known
or if this poem isn't one of my masterpieces
but I'm waiting for you to work it out
so you don't have to wonder
what I did with my Saturday night.


Absolutelty Exquisite Temptress....wonderful poetry, and yes this was my favorite part!


Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
7 posted 2003-07-14 01:09 AM


powerful. . . as all your work is. . .

great work. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

[This message has been edited by Sven (07-15-2003 09:55 AM).]

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #27 » What I Did With My Saturday Night (For You)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary