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Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

0 posted 2003-06-29 04:02 PM

Memorial Park

The long guns angle
like off-duty teeter-totters
toward a bleak sky,
while the husks of old tires cling
flaking on their iron cores,
wet now in the gray light.

A breach. Welded shut.
Safe from gunpowder chemists
and croquet balls.
Down the death tube there are
many grooves, twisted, crusted red:
The barrels are not painted.

Retreat gives this from far off:
A mouldering Prometheus,
bound down on concrete
to wait cruciform among the guns,
mourning hollow in a hollow morning,
hollow under all the sky.

[This message has been edited by Ratleader (06-29-2003 11:18 PM).]

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

1 posted 2003-06-29 04:04 PM

Wow! This is wonderful

Enjoyed...

QjQ
Member Elite

since 2003-04-18

Posts 3756
U.S.A.

2 posted 2003-06-29 04:11 PM

nicely written,,,

A voice of honesty
   is treasured
more than voices
   of flattery
      QjQ

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

3 posted 2003-06-29 04:15 PM

death and life hover over ; chilling
are these words

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

4 posted 2003-06-29 05:38 PM

Ed, you realy do paint a picture with your words. Very, very good writing, my friend...as always......

Hugs

Ethel

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (06-29-2003 05:47 PM).]

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

5 posted 2003-06-29 06:24 PM

This somber piece is pure excellence, my friend. It reminds me of visits to Vicksburg... cannons stand in such silent testimony to lives lived and lost you can almost hear the battle... and moans of the dying.

And all that's left are some artifacts... that overworked rangers try to protect from those who don't respect themselves enough to respect others.

Beautiful, touching work.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2003-06-29 11:14 PM

gave me chills

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant

since 2000-01-29

Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia

7 posted 2003-06-29 11:16 PM

loved the read......in fact I really love your work! Roniece Dawson-Bruce

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

8 posted 2003-07-03 05:50 PM

Ed.....The imagery of this paints the cold into the picture. So well done...I think I know this place.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

9 posted 2003-07-03 07:06 PM

Haunting..and powerful!
Well done!
~Hugs~

~If you haven't heard the sunset,
you haven't been listening.~

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