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Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

0 posted 2003-06-26 12:24 PM

I recall dust-cobwebs stretching
across cracked and peeling sky;
the sounds of gurneys rattling
as we lit up on the sly;
the blue flourescents glinting
on keys on metal rings;
and the smell of Lysol wafting
as we whispered stupid things.

I remember songs we warbled
when the moon lived in your eyes,
glowing softly in the gray mist
as days went drifting by.
Why must I lose your laughter
to hypodermic-stings?
How much I hate the clarity
this medication brings.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

1 posted 2003-06-26 12:28 PM

Great imagery and exquisite vocab... To use words such as gurneys and warbled with seemingly such ease is a skill on its own and you, my friend are very skilful

Most enjoyed...
Regards,
sudhir

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2003-06-26 01:21 PM

wow...

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

3 posted 2003-06-26 02:40 PM

Thank you Sudhir, I appreciate that.

passing shadows,

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

4 posted 2003-06-26 04:19 PM

Wow! now there's a trip I wouldn't mind taking again.
Keth

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

5 posted 2003-06-26 04:28 PM

I love the way you use rhyme in this -- where it's needed and only where it's needed, and woven in so naturally that it's part of the imagery itself.

Well done, well done.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

6 posted 2003-06-26 05:15 PM

(big hugggssssssss) Sometimes I'd just rather be insane so I can at least see all the colors and through irrational journies find my own sense of joy and wonder! (sigh) It hurts to be clarified, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Nancy, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

timothysangel1973

Senior Member

since 2001-12-03

Posts 1725
Never close enough

7 posted 2003-06-26 05:56 PM

What a glorious display of words....

I loved it!

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

8 posted 2003-06-26 07:35 PM

Great work, interesting handle..

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

9 posted 2003-06-26 07:57 PM

Pilgrimage - my first impression on reading this writing is excellent. My compliments on your thoughts written to read...

BC

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

10 posted 2003-06-26 11:16 PM

Keth, come with me and we'll trip the light fantastic!

Thank you RatLeader!

Noah, I've thought that way too-but who knows what joys we'd see if our eyes were wide open?

timothysangel, don't you love words? I do.

Kaoru, thank you so much.

Bill, I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

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