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Open Poetry #27
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SEA
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with you

0 posted 2003-06-26 02:11 AM





You smile
as you say  
‘Hello’
it’s all I can do
to not fall apart.....
smile
deny

pretend my heart
isn’t dying
right here
right now
that burn I feel
behind my eyes
won’t betray me
give you clues
as to what depth
this....
ache
need

really goes
instead
I laugh,
dismiss
refuse

choke down
these emotions
and again
resist the urge
to tell you
how much
I love you

while
casually returning
a friendly
‘hello’


~SEA~



© Copyright 2003 S.E. A - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
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displaced
1 posted 2003-06-26 02:12 AM


damn! that hurts! i know
Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2003-06-26 06:30 AM


You smile
as you say  
‘Hello’
it’s all I can do
to not fall apart.....
smile
deny
pretend my heart
isn’t dying
right here
right now
that burn I feel
behind my eyes
won’t betray me
=======================

*sigh* where would a moth be without the burn...the ache ... the denial.
(YKTIKYK)
heart string tugging poetry Susan-girlie.

All I can feel is this distance between you and me.
I can say I love you but I can't make you believe me
because touching is believing.

c.j.

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (06-26-2003 06:30 AM).]

Ericc
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since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

3 posted 2003-06-26 07:46 AM


Oh wow...you have captured a moment so beautifuly.
Eric

Cpat Hair
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4 posted 2003-06-26 07:48 AM


Hello


Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
5 posted 2003-06-26 07:51 AM


Hello == Hey-Love

just change a bit of the sound and it works...

this is nice poetry... sad in its essence, but suppose a hello in return, however casual is better than silence... at least it provides forever hope?

regards
sudhir

Paula Finn
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since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
6 posted 2003-06-26 09:15 AM


Oh yes...how often we do this to ourselves...great write darlin'
Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada
7 posted 2003-06-26 09:18 AM


Well now, you have my mind just reeling - did she know this guy in a past life?  Is she married?  Is he a friend from her childhood, or is this instant love?  Goodness, but you get a girl's head just whirling first thing in the morning don't ya?
ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
8 posted 2003-06-26 09:18 AM


A wave of words fitting
such a ravishing Sea,
but a tongue willed and witting
shall set your heart free.

Let each word flow
from tow to crest.
Ask of Love they know
that would be your test.

If word comes with a pause
do not yet set fears
his own heart the cause
adding a Sea of Tears.


    
        (surfs up!!)


Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
9 posted 2003-06-26 09:23 AM


SEA
does that answer the question?

SEA
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with you
10 posted 2003-06-26 09:39 AM


you guys rock! thank you all very much...
and Sy.... right back to ya!

Wind
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11 posted 2003-06-26 10:02 AM


yay SEA, I loved this!

I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war,
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
-coldplay

Nightshade
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just out of reach
12 posted 2003-06-26 10:32 AM


SEA - yup, I am keeping this one!! Been there....felt that....you have captured the ache perfectly. hugs, Chris

"Said you'd give me light...
...but you never told me about the fire."

~Stevie Nicks~  
      

    

Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

13 posted 2003-06-26 10:44 AM



Some
would call it
being responsible...

others
would say
"go for it"...

I say
good write.

garysgirl
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Florida, USA
14 posted 2003-06-26 11:26 AM


that burn I feel
behind my eyes
won’t betray me
give you clues
as to what depth
this....
ache
need
really goes
instead
I laugh,
dismiss
refuse
choke down
these emotions
and again
resist the urge
to tell you
how much
I love you
while
casually returning
a friendly
‘hello’


Yep, I've been there and done that,
too....so, I do know the feeling.
I'm keeping this, too.....
Hugs  
Ethel


[This message has been edited by garysgirl (06-26-2003 11:26 AM).]

timothysangel1973
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Never close enough
15 posted 2003-06-26 11:32 AM


"You smile
as you say  
‘Hello’
it’s all I can do
to not fall apart....."

Now a line from one of mine...
"I saw him just today,
his smile is still the same.
He looked at me and smiled,
but never spoke my name."

Who ever eould have thought that a smile (such a wonderful thing), could break a heart!

Wonderful write SEA!

Certainly a read againer!


Some women wait for something to change and nothing does, so they change themselves.
-Audre Lorde


VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
16 posted 2003-06-26 11:38 AM


Powerful! Too, too powerful, too, too is to understand.

Extremely well done, part of me wishes I didn't know that feeling so well, that I didn't comprehend your pain.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
17 posted 2003-06-26 12:37 PM


You really did a good one here. And if you hide it well enough, how will he ever know? That's not good, is it? Sigh.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

El_Campeador
Senior Member
since 2003-01-29
Posts 761
Ohio, USA
18 posted 2003-06-26 01:04 PM


Ah! This was excellent!

“We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
19 posted 2003-06-26 01:28 PM


WOW!!  Excellent Susan..
I know this feeling well.
~Hugs~

~If you haven't heard the sunset,
   you haven't been listening.~

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
20 posted 2003-06-26 02:11 PM


SEA - that's a very nice hello...

BC

2dalimit
Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228
Mississippi coast
21 posted 2003-06-26 03:38 PM


An excellent piece of self-control.

I like it,
Melton

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
22 posted 2003-06-26 04:19 PM


SEA...What emotion could be held under the simple word "hello"?  Think how many times it is said...wheew!  Wonderful poem!
vlraynes
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since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
23 posted 2003-06-26 07:53 PM



Oh my, Susan...you just wrote me.
I know this painfully well.
Wow...this...right now...it's MINE.
Hugs to you,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
24 posted 2003-06-26 08:00 PM



Yep...it's me again...just been reading this, over and over,
and had to tell you again how deeply this one hits for me.
Typing this through tears...I KNOW this one...and it hurts.
Hugs again,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Skyfire
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Riding
25 posted 2003-06-26 11:01 PM


le sigh... what can I say to this? heh... not much, I know this as well. Beautiful and tear-jerking...

It is said the Creator has taken a handful of South Wind and given each newborn Arabian the power of flight without wings

Patricia
Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160
Missouri
26 posted 2003-06-26 11:09 PM


Oh, SEA, I have known this.  You expressed the feeling so well.

Patricia  

Auguste
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By the sea
27 posted 2003-06-26 11:23 PM


I sometimes envy the way you write, because I find so much in your poetry, the way you express emotions and I wish I could somehow reach that place you already know so well.  I love this, Susan.  It's wonderful!  
Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
28 posted 2003-06-26 11:29 PM


Oh my!!!!!! you took the words right out of my mouth - know the feeling well bella!
Thanks for sharing such a wonderful poem with us! Roniece Dawson-Bruce

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
29 posted 2003-06-26 11:35 PM


Hello Susan

Many powerful emotions were felt through your well written words.

Take care......Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
30 posted 2003-06-26 11:50 PM


Yes, that's the feeling, exactly....the same for both sides of the equation, and that's nice to know.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

SuperDave
Junior Member
since 2002-09-12
Posts 48
Little House on the Hill
31 posted 2003-06-26 11:52 PM


As others have said I know the feeling well. You may hold yourself back but there does come a time (and person) when that just can't happen. How about a part II for this? By the way great visual arrangement as well.

David

suthern
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Louisiana
32 posted 2003-06-27 02:35 PM


resist the urge
to tell you
how much
I love you
while
casually returning
a friendly
‘hello’

This is a heart toucher, SEA... so beautiful. *S*

vandana
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Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
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USA
33 posted 2003-06-27 07:36 PM


enjoyed
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