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Open Poetry #27
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For Jan
| Open Poetry #27 |
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For Jan |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass 
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For Jan Years it was, and years too that I knew A silent word, unspoken, burned in you I saw the tiny hints you couldn’t stop, That if I glanced your way, your eyes would drop Though your attention held, your voice would hush And you would turn your head to hide the blush. And for my part, I stayed away as well For there were things I felt, but couldn’t tell. I held you distant and I stayed away, Too harsh at times, afraid that I would say Something too soft, show you an invitation Start building on forbidden truth’s foundation. Now, it’s moot. Today your desk was clear And someone said you’d planned it for a year, To leave on just this day, and told your friends, But no one else til now: and so it ends. Now I know you knew, and that is why You told your friends, but didn't say goodbye. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
The pain is apparent, the grief, palpable... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
..this hurts. ~If you haven't heard the sunset, |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Yeah, this does hurt.  for both concerned...I know... |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
True..... I understand, but..... a goodbye would have been nice.... although I also understand why it might have been impossible....some things you can't say, and some things you shouldn't. Better to go out a winner. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed...look at the rhymes! Sad it is about some relationships, words not said or better left unsaid, and then no way to say them at all.  |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Now I know you knew, and that is why You told your friends, but didn't say goodbye. Ouch... this one hurts big time... sometimes the words aren't there... but the lack of them says so much. This is excellent! |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
ed…it is better at times to have no words…for the last is what always stays with you…not the good…the last…and sometimes those words…wound you deeper than any cut…and are the hardest to get over…and they...are all you are left with...h [This message has been edited by 1slick_lady (06-25-2003 05:04 PM).] |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
Your words are deeply felt. Eric |
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Joe Houck Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 324california |
I can relate to this from both sides. Really well penned poem. It flowed nicely Good Stuff Joe "The worst vice is advice" (Al Pacino, devil's advocate) |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Words are overrated.. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Ed, I was so interested in the story you were telling, that I didn't notice that you had rhymed until I just read Martie reply. My friend, you must have felt this one so much that the words just flowed off your pen, because these rhymes are divine, Sir. You have mentioned in your replies to me about the rhyme before and look here what you can do!!! I love this. Oh, did I say in my first reply that I'm going to keep this...even before I realized it was in perfect rhyme.  Hugs to you, Ed Ethel |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
Ed - well written poetry - sad when someone doesn't say...Paul |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
awwwwwwww......where's the Kleenex? Very moving, Tima Please visit my website: www.southerncountrywebdesign.com/~heart/ And support the fight against Child Abuse, Domestic and Verbal Abuse. [This message has been edited by timothysangel1973 (06-25-2003 09:45 PM).] |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
My mind wandered off into goodbyes *I* never got to give... and I forgot to tell you how perfect your rhymes are. *S* Nothing forced here... they flow as smoothly as your free verse... facilitating the story, not becoming it. *S* Superb work! *S* |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
Nicely written and sad. I love rhymes and yours have flowed so naturally. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
sometimes it's harder to say goodbye than not to |
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