Elysium (for 1slicklady) - pipTalk Forums

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Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2003-06-25 10:12 AM

And all my friends who feel the pain of breathing
the same stale air..My first attempt at a sonnet.

Restless seeds adrift are we
strewn upon relentless wind
such paths forlorn abrade esprit
where dreams are lost and wills are thinned
And though in life it seems decreed
that we are bound to this affliction
these swords of doubt can never bleed
this weary heart and soul's conviction
That o'er barren lands we'll sail
to virgin plains that still yield hope
to rest within a sunlit dale
of rolling green and gentle slope
It's here at last our time will come
rebirth in soil Elysium

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (06-25-2003 10:17 AM).]

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

1 posted 2003-06-25 10:46 AM

and whatever else bounces up and down cos damn raph this was breathtaking and stuff...

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

[This message has been edited by Ceinwyn (06-25-2003 10:46 AM).]

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant

since 2000-12-22

Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

2 posted 2003-06-25 11:05 AM

r...i would like to reply to you right now but i can't...i will be back...and know today...you gave me happy salt...ty...h

CastleGuard
Senior Member

since 2003-04-30

Posts 760
Alberta, Canada

3 posted 2003-06-25 11:38 AM

A beautiful tribute to all, who harbor hope in their hearts for a better future...

Enjoyed immensely. Thank you.

CG

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant

since 2000-12-22

Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

4 posted 2003-06-25 12:04 PM

ok i'm back....

I’ll Say It Anyway for Aenimal

thank you seems
so inadequate
to someone who
has become second skin
my covering
that catches salty sorrow
who knows my feelings
before I say them
and how I ache
in the knowledge
in his internal
intimate understanding
of how deep
this well of pain is
and how no edges
are just wet
but immersed
whose youth does not
harbor safe shelter
standing on searing sands
from the steam of it
and is
far too tender
for this world

r,
thank you...
for knowing me...
for...understanding
for being

and if there is a place...i KNOW you will be there too... h

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

5 posted 2003-06-25 12:21 PM

to virgin plains that still yield hope
to rest within a sunlit dale
of rolling green and gentle slope
It's here at last our time will come

Raph, I hope with all my heart that you (and the others) will find this place real soon. I honestly feel that I have found this place with my Gary.....the other place just creeps in sometimes. But, like I said in the poem I posted today, the sunshine keeps shining back through those clouds. I'm really glad of that.

Heart hugs to you, friend

Ethel

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2003-06-25 12:30 PM

cheers!

a stunning write Raph

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

7 posted 2003-06-25 12:33 PM

dang, Raph,
were we floating upon the same clouds this morning?
This is a beauty, a keeper, a healing salve.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

8 posted 2003-06-25 01:26 PM

Kris..whatever else bounces up and down? I'm not gonna touch comment..grin

Hugs H..happy salt..grin good way of putting it see youre a born poet

Thank you CastGuard appreciate the read and kind words

Hugs H, you're the best..i hear there are no more basketweaving classes there!!

Ethel yer too sweet, i h..oops almost said it..I look forward to the possibility..there that sounds better that we'll all reach this place

Thanks Dix wanted to try something different ..a a sonnet..b a poem with h..argh..you know starts with h ends with ope

Thanks Kacy and thanks again for the poem..just a little respite from the dark

Gina Culliney
Member

since 2003-03-08

Posts 170

9 posted 2003-06-25 03:08 PM

well done! Got anymore like that one????

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

10 posted 2003-06-25 03:17 PM

Gina Not bloody likely lol don't know where this came from..just wanted to write something different and challenge myself

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

11 posted 2003-06-25 03:21 PM

how sweet, and true.

I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war,
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
-coldplay

CastleGuard
Senior Member

since 2003-04-30

Posts 760
Alberta, Canada

12 posted 2003-06-25 03:29 PM

Heh, this being the result, Raph, perhaps you should challenge yourself more often...

...for the benefit of all of us...

CG

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

13 posted 2003-06-25 03:36 PM

Very beautiful..well done...
and much enjoyed by this reader of your work.
~Hugs & Smiles, Nancy~

~If you haven't heard the sunset,
you haven't been listening.~

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

14 posted 2003-06-25 04:53 PM

Thanks Liz hope so

Cg lol I'll give it a try every now and then

nancy thanks you and always nice to see you stop by

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

15 posted 2003-06-25 05:05 PM

Raph . . .
I am so proud of you . . .
xxoo

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

16 posted 2003-06-25 05:06 PM

A good theme for a sonnet...
and may I be included in that list?

For I surely walk
into some stale
now and then

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

17 posted 2003-06-25 05:32 PM

Look at YOU...

smiling wide again.

Two of my favorite peops connecting here.

And a sonnet too!

smiling more--now that you've done a sonnet?
um...I whisper "sestina" and send you tylenol.

(I DO push, don't I?)

I agree with all the above, the theme is enchantingly gloomy/yearnful...

Raph!

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

18 posted 2003-06-25 06:09 PM

lol @ your 'not bloody likely!' bart.

oh the laughter!

read this several times today, and each time i get a feeling in my stomach. no, not sick, a good one. this m friend is beautiful. and i feel the H word growing in my vocabulary again when i read this.

you make the rhyme so effortless and unforced. the words took me to a cornfield in summer.

i too, am proud of you, and this.

now shut me up. before i tell you you're the best thing since sliced cheese. now that would be stupid, would it not?

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

19 posted 2003-06-25 08:10 PM

. . . beauty needs to breathe . . .

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

20 posted 2003-06-25 08:36 PM

Thanks Sue be proud of me when I do not say..thusfar it's only words

Surely Karilea we all do of course

K you're mad if you think I'm touching a sestina..the explanation was enough to give me a headache(takes the tylenol greatfully)
hugs you

Thanks gem oh how i hate that word..get me a thesaurus so i can use something other than the dreaded H. Hugs you and there's nothing wrong with cheese...mmmmmmmmmm cheese

Sue keep breathing then..grin

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

21 posted 2003-06-26 06:24 AM

hmmmmm . . . .

[This message has been edited by littlewing (06-26-2003 06:25 AM).]

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

22 posted 2009-09-06 03:06 PM

interesting Write!

ARCTIC WIND

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