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Open Poetry #27
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gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

0 posted 2003-06-25 06:47 AM



Sick to the bones

          of bloodlines insanity

juvenile adult
          
          perspective of all

that squirms

          to be heard without

an ounce of clarity

          over again.


Eyes so full

          of distinct deflation

fall upon matress

          sink the flesh

to comfort confines

          of immobility

and think of me

          numb
          
           as

          you.


© Copyright 2003 gj - All Rights Reserved
Bonfirelight
Member
since 2003-06-19
Posts 85
London, England
1 posted 2003-06-25 06:59 AM


I like this
there's a real feeling of helplessness dripping off it. i think everyone could relate to that sometimes.

Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

2 posted 2003-06-25 07:47 AM


Wow...this is so intense.
Excellent!
Eric

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
3 posted 2003-06-25 07:51 AM


We likessssss it precioussss..Ah Family, what's the saying? Can't live with them can't live ....um...wait there's a second part to this...nope drawing a blank.

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (06-25-2003 07:55 AM).]

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2003-06-25 07:57 AM


gemjop
A strong write.

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

5 posted 2003-06-25 08:12 AM


boy, know the feeling well, kinda on the boarderline of a tad angry...but, realizing that gets you know where...good write.  
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
6 posted 2003-06-25 12:15 PM


Dear gem, there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of fun in that relationship...You deserve to have light-hearted fun and joy!

Luvin' huggums,
EA

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2003-06-25 12:35 PM



Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

8 posted 2003-06-25 01:34 PM


hhmmm...You've gotten a liittle dark while I was gone. I like it, It suits you. You're like... like dark chocolate, sweet and bitter.

Ehh? sorry, I'm a little disturbed

I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war,
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
-coldplay

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

9 posted 2003-06-25 01:35 PM


Ralph- 'you can't live without em'
same goes for him

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
10 posted 2003-06-25 02:01 PM


Um wind..Raph..it's Raph..lol and I like my version better simple and to the point
Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

11 posted 2003-06-25 02:31 PM


what? I thought you were Ralph. With an L! ehhhh... sorry. Hey, people used to think i was a boy. I'm not, you knew that, right?

I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war,
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
-coldplay

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
12 posted 2003-06-25 03:08 PM


he heeee. you two are good for a laugh.
i like ralph better.

thanks for the replies, and the amusing banter.

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
13 posted 2009-03-23 03:39 PM


I read this and uncovered the emotions between the lines ~ Enjoyed this


ARCTIC WIND

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