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Passions in Poetry

The Tear

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ecrivan
Member Elite
since 12-10-2001
Posts 3983
my own state


0 posted 06-24-2003 08:40 PM       View Profile for ecrivan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit ecrivan's Home Page   View IP for ecrivan


The first trickle is etched in folkloric memory
may have come with a hardy, uncontrollable laugh
some say it came out of tremendous sadness
when the skies, upheld by a female's arched body,
whose arms and legs supported the heavenly vault
opened and rain, like tears began to fall...


The first trickle felt so subtle...
then as discontent mounted in the valleys below,
select valley women climbed the nearest summit,
joined the arched goddess in her lament
and weeped openly...
The first act of jealousy between brothers
magnified itself on grander scales
these were their men they cried for...


The first trickle became then an announcement.
Inhabitants would know of future jealous acts
cause the rain would fall, at first as tears
and rush down as daggers..then clear sheets
created torrents from dry river basins
widened their banks and deepened their beds...
the women on the crests chose to weep instead.





[This message has been edited by ecrivan (06-25-2003 01:45 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Martin Dansky - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
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Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


1 posted 06-25-2003 01:28 AM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

completely cool! I like the way you tell a story like this
ecrivan
Member Elite
since 12-10-2001
Posts 3983
my own state


2 posted 06-25-2003 01:47 AM       View Profile for ecrivan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ecrivan's Home Page   View IP for ecrivan

pleasure to hear from you after so long..there have been many more like this in previous forums. What's happening with the Reflections publication by the way?

[This message has been edited by ecrivan (06-25-2003 01:48 AM).]

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


3 posted 06-25-2003 03:57 AM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

awesome write martin! love the ending!

click on the "discussion" forums (link is at the top of this page here) and click on "about reflections" There is no news so far, manuscript has been at the printers for two weeks...so far so good...Ron says he'll try to get an update by the end of the week.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


4 posted 06-26-2003 06:31 AM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

Martin?
What an insightful man you are!

The first trickle is etched in folkloric memory
may have come with a hardy, uncontrollable laugh
some say it came out of tremendous sadness
when the skies, upheld by a female's arched body,
whose arms and legs supported the heavenly vault
opened and rain, like tears began to fall...

and THAT is beautiful writing indeed
xxoo
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


5 posted 09-06-2009 03:07 PM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

A very good way to end the write.


ARCTIC WIND
 
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