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Passions in Poetry

Free Rent

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OwlPoet
Junior Member
since 06-18-2003
Posts 17
Fullerton, California, Urantia


0 posted 06-24-2003 05:48 PM       View Profile for OwlPoet   Email OwlPoet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit OwlPoet's Home Page   View IP for OwlPoet

Free Rent

This room is in the middle of the house
next to the pond where the cat lives.
Outside the windows, the sunflowers won't sprout
and I pay no rent.
What gives?

Along the fence the berries climb on
stolen trellises where the bells play.
The place is surrounded by
descendents of wolves.
Still I stay.

Some of these trees here rain gold in summer.
The hedges shed western stars.
I watch goddesses dance with an eastern moon.
This movie is in black and white.

Across the lake, I feel the wind
drawing ladies in the night.
I color the pages with old pastels
as gulls take wing in summer flight.

Will Patrick

© Copyright 2003 Will Patrick - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075


1 posted 06-24-2003 05:51 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

interesting piece of work.. the images juxtaposed on each other as they are creating a surreal feel of chaotic involvement in the location and a sense of being lost and not knowing quite why...

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


2 posted 06-24-2003 06:21 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

it kinda feels like, you don't know why you're there, but it isn't so bad, so you just stay..sort of like, making the best of it??
at any rate, it was interesting to read  

(jeez...I sound like you Ron )

[This message has been edited by SEA (06-24-2003 06:21 PM).]

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


3 posted 06-24-2003 06:26 PM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

Part of me felt like you were making bad of a good thing. Then another part of me felt that you were making good of a bad thing!

Whatever your intent or feelings behind this write, I found it an interesting read!

Warm hugs,
EA
Enchantress
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since 08-14-2001
Posts 37801
Somewhere in time~


4 posted 06-24-2003 06:38 PM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress

Very much enjoyed the read...
Fantastic imagery!
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~If you haven't heard the sunset,
   you haven't been listening.~

OwlPoet
Junior Member
since 06-18-2003
Posts 17
Fullerton, California, Urantia


5 posted 06-24-2003 08:43 PM       View Profile for OwlPoet   Email OwlPoet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit OwlPoet's Home Page   View IP for OwlPoet

This was written some time ago when I was banished to another room during my estrangement with my ex when we were still living together.  I posted it here today to see if the imagery and tempo would elicit any one else's experiences.  

Will Patrick

Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-23-2003
Posts 7179
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass


6 posted 06-25-2003 12:21 AM       View Profile for Ratleader   Email Ratleader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ratleader's Home Page   View IP for Ratleader

They did mine, but then you KNOW what those are, and were then.....nuff said....

This has always been one of my favorites of yours, because it is so scattered in time, viewpoint and imagery, but still focuses narrowly on its theme....Nobody can do that, not even Will, but there it is right there on the page.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


7 posted 06-25-2003 04:08 AM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

I can see this, in a way I can relate
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


8 posted 06-25-2003 11:48 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Some of these trees here rain gold in summer.
The hedges shed western stars.

I'd love these lines even if I didn't understand a bit of the rest. *S* But I think I do... such a free rent as this costs a lot, doesn't it? *S*
Bonfirelight
Member
since 06-19-2003
Posts 88
London, England


9 posted 06-25-2003 11:54 AM       View Profile for Bonfirelight   Email Bonfirelight   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Bonfirelight

Great stuff
garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 09-29-2002
Posts 20064
Florida, USA


10 posted 06-25-2003 11:58 AM       View Profile for garysgirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit garysgirl's Home Page   View IP for garysgirl

This room is in the middle of the house
next to the pond where the cat lives.
Outside the windows, the sunflowers won't sprout
and I pay no rent.
What gives?


Did she almost have you out in the dog house?  LOL

Seriously, this reminded me a little bit of the old movie with Michael Douglas...I think it was "Fatal Attraction"? Anyway, they were separated but lived in the same house, because of these same reasons.

I'll bet you were glad to get out of there, weren't you?  

Hugs  
Ethel
Midnitesun
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since 05-18-2001
Posts 29020
Gaia


11 posted 06-25-2003 12:46 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

somehow that rent didn't sound free to me

interesting write, full of jumbled imagery, a messed up bed full of nightmare scenes?this reads like my brain some mornings,
especially before the java jumps on board

Martie
Moderator
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


12 posted 06-25-2003 01:30 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

OwlPoet

Sad, to be a stranger in your own house...learning a new view of something so familiar, like a relationship.  
timothysangel1973
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 12-03-2001
Posts 1749
Never close enough


13 posted 06-26-2003 01:12 AM       View Profile for timothysangel1973   Email timothysangel1973   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit timothysangel1973's Home Page   View IP for timothysangel1973

I lived in a room like that for 9 years.....so YES I can relate!
Wonderful piece!

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


14 posted 03-28-2009 03:31 PM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

I agree, when I was reading this, I felt like you were shedding bad light onto a good thing, but then again, maybe this isn't what you want!

Although, I did enjoy the images painted here of nature, hopefully you make the right choice that well suits your needs.


ARCTIC WIND
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