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Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2003-06-23 12:32 PM

In my heart, no picture
could capture the essence..
The weather behind my eyes,
raining black mascara tween
my lips, which
close over cherries as I sip
on
diet coke and
grenadine.

My world unravels,
and wraps itself around the base of my finger.
The one I'd used to
point to where it hurts the most.
Effected by a fever and
my lack of sense to breathe..
The bruises no one else can see, obviously,
not even I could contemplate
upon my own misery.

Summer bugs hover as
I sip on
diet coke and
grenadine.
I missed the way you
used to be..
Now all that enraptures
you is anger
and the need to..
Give me something to think about.

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

1 posted 2003-06-24 11:53 AM

Dont know how this got to the bottom of the pile so quick...

I missed the way you
used to be..
Now all that enraptures
you is anger
and the need to..
Give me something to think about.

this is very stong, and i identify with it. many personal feelings within this, that i enjoyed looking in on.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

2 posted 2003-07-27 11:34 PM

make mine whiskey and coke but with the same lingering thoughts

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

3 posted 2003-07-27 11:50 PM

Do you really need him to give you something to think about?

Love isn't supposed to hurt, tho' it often does.

You certainly can create a mood with your emotive writing. You reach out and grab the reader! That takes talent!

EA

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

4 posted 2003-07-29 06:24 PM

"I missed the way you used to be". I can imagine...James

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

5 posted 2003-07-30 04:44 PM

So sad...I really loved it.

Susan C.

QjQ
Member Elite

since 2003-04-18

Posts 3756
U.S.A.

6 posted 2003-07-30 05:35 PM

very nice write n read,,

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

7 posted 2003-07-31 10:07 AM

Ahh I may not see these:

The bruises no one else can see, obviously,

but I can read them plain as day
xxoo

[This message has been edited by littlewing (08-01-2003 10:23 PM).]

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