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Open Poetry #27
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Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia

0 posted 2003-06-21 06:43 PM


'Love is proximity'
she'd say
nails stroking over
taught skin teasing
waiting
for life to flow back

self-pleased at her faculty
for draining it
she smiled petite kisses
across his chest

'Soul mates --
no such thing'
the student of sociology
rendered the notion
obsolete
'the heart is
merely victim of
geography'

'If I hadn't known you
since I was born --
if we hadn't lived
close enough to
Fall -- we'd never
have loved like
this'
she whispered nose buried
in his neck

Looking back
he thinks about it
and supposes she was
right:
--if there was a kind God
who made
Soul Mates
he certainly would
put them
where they could
find each other

--eh?



© Copyright 2003 Local Rebel - All Rights Reserved
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
1 posted 2003-06-21 06:50 PM


grins well the cop-out is that he works in mysterious ways isn't it? The onlything I'll believe, and rightly so is that this is simply fantastic writing..thanks for posting and rp
Martie
Moderator
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2003-06-21 06:50 PM


Rebel...Loved the ending question in this and the two different points of view...made me smile and wonder the same thing.  And then he gave man the idea of building telephones and computers and the world got smaller.  It's much easier to find soulmates now then it was in the good old days, I'm sure!
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2003-06-21 08:16 PM





Thanks for reposting these, Reb. I'm enjoying your work much, and, (smile with me)
maybe this time I'll be able to remember them, eh?

Sheesh. I'm still searching the brain cells for survivors.

As for love being about proximity...hmmm...I'd be inclined to argue the point. (serenity glances warily over her shoulder)

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2003-06-21 08:20 PM


God! wow! Yes! love this write, Hawke! Damn, you're good!
icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
5 posted 2003-06-21 09:12 PM


What if we really do choose the where and who of birth?  

A great poem.  Loved the title!!  *grin*

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
6 posted 2003-06-21 09:28 PM


A fine piece, Rebel, a mixture of sensual and seriousness....love this>"'the heart is
merely victim of geography'" ..,,good rhythm and fine end lines...ice


Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
7 posted 2003-06-21 09:55 PM


I'm keeping this one. It's an interesting POV, and very different than other soulmate poetry...offering stimulating philosophical rather than romantic thoughts in my mind.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2003-06-22 01:42 PM


bumping this.

Came back for another read and couldn't find you, so back to the top, just because I hate scrolling.

(and hey? at least I remembered reading it! me so proud of me... )


Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
9 posted 2003-06-22 01:45 PM


I echo what Raph said I luv stealing his comments er I mean borrowing cos I suck at comments...

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
10 posted 2003-06-22 01:46 PM


So many good lines in this, and lots of love and truth.  Really nice writing Reb~
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
11 posted 2003-06-22 02:04 PM


she smiled petite kisses
across his chest


I like that

I am glad to read your words this morning...and to see that new look ...
M

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
12 posted 2003-06-22 02:12 PM


...Damn!

........just damn!

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

A Whisper's Caress
Senior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 791
on the horizon of a fairytale
13 posted 2003-06-22 02:14 PM


As I am taken completely breathless, all I can do is sigh.......

Absolutely gorgeous

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
14 posted 2003-06-22 03:41 PM


--if there was a kind God
who made
Soul Mates
he certainly would
put them
where they could
find each other

--eh?

That would be logical... but what's logical about love? LOL And proximity is different these days. *S*

Enjoyed the read, Hawk! *S*

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
15 posted 2003-06-22 10:04 PM


Raph -- agree with the first part -- but I'll defer to your judgement on the second.. thanks!

Martie -- yes, but I wonder if the age of instant messaging just adds to the pain of it all -- I've heard it's as hard as it ever was.  

blaze starr -- hahahahaha...   yeah - you replied to this one when it was up before... thanks for following me though -- I had almost forgotten this one myself.

Dixie -- you give good reply

icebox -- yeah -- what if?  we'd be real friggin masochists huh?  heh... thank you sir.. title just kind of wrote itself

ice -- thanks very much -- but I can't really take credit for that line since it is merely a record of an actual conversation...

Midnite -- I'm beyond flattered... thankyou m'lady *bow*

blazey -- thanks for the bump -- (shouldn't we have some disco music?)

Ceinwyn -- I'm sure you can hold your own -- thanks..

Bluesy -- Much thanx ma'am....appreciate the read..

nakedthinker -- I am grateful for your kind words -- and glad you like the new pic -- the old one never compressed very well -- too many lines not enough pixels

Enchantress... DAMN!!  

Whisper -- you're too kind I'm sure...

Ruthie -- yeah it's pretty illogical aint it?  and aint we glad?  thankies

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

16 posted 2003-06-23 11:22 AM


(smiling).... it would seem they should find each other doesn't it...

liked this... nicely done, nice indeed.


Brad Majors
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Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
17 posted 2003-06-23 12:09 PM


Its been since the scroll days when I last saw your work. Very cool!
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
18 posted 2003-06-23 12:42 PM


Your wonderful title is a poem unto and of itself!--and I thoroughly enjoyed the follow-through!

Lots of angel food cake for thought! LOL

Warm hugs,
EA

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

19 posted 2003-06-23 02:32 PM


ah yes, one would think so...
very tactfully written......honesty was always one of your best qualities, and it shines brightly in your writing *smile*

garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
20 posted 2003-07-21 12:02 PM


--if there was a kind God
who made
Soul Mates
he certainly would
put them
where they could
find each other

--eh?


But ooohh, Reb, it is  soooo  goooddddd   when they do find each other...wouldn't you think?  
Hugs to you, Reb Hawke  
Ethel

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (07-21-2003 12:03 AM).]

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
21 posted 2003-07-21 12:12 PM


I agree with the woman in the poem.  Love is mostly a question of proximity... because beneath all the crap that we're smathered with, there's an essential human element which is unchanging... and that is the depth to which love extends.

Love is too powerful to be predetermined... but hey, that's my opinion.  Nicely written, Reb...

Parasite

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
22 posted 2003-07-21 12:32 PM


--[quote]if there was a kind God
who made
Soul Mates
he certainly would
put them
where they could
find each other

--eh?


But he did, if he put them on the same planet.
LOL, I just had to read this one again, my graduate homebrewed Philosophy class.
Just what you wanted to read, another smartie britches comment.
Laugh, it's good for the soul, mate.

[This message has been edited by Midnitesun (07-21-2003 12:34 AM).]

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
23 posted 2003-07-21 06:11 AM


eh...James
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
24 posted 2003-07-21 02:19 PM


"--if there was a kind God
who made
Soul Mates
he certainly would
put them
where they could
find each other"

True story:  I was feeling down and could really relate to the song "Angel" by Amanda Perez. In it, it says, "God send me an Angel, to heal my broken heart from being in love."  Two months later I met and started dated a man that transfered here.  His name? Angel.  

Susan C.


Ringo
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Member Elite
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes
25 posted 2003-07-21 02:32 PM


LP- I had to read this one a couple of times to really get my own pictures in my head... and I must say that they are truly wonderful pictures indeed. Yet another great job by a great poet.

We see the light of those
Who find the world has passed them by
Too late to save a dream from growing cold...

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
26 posted 2003-07-22 07:53 AM


Damn Rebel! The title of this sounds like a course I took at Berkley when I was still taking acid!
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
27 posted 2003-07-22 08:12 AM


Local Rebel
This has whirled around my head till it turned to dust. Excellent write.

Chanson
Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle
28 posted 2003-07-22 09:20 AM


Well isn't this just the ticket! I especially adore "...if we hadn't lived
close enough to
Fall..."

I can't rip you to shreds on this one (as if I ever did or would ... *s) because my critting skills have a lot to be desired so I can only offer my humble thanks for an excellent poem.

I bought my share of mistakes so I might see some interest.
~Dorene

Lady In White
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since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
29 posted 2003-07-22 11:58 AM



Sometimes, Reb...
we just have to listen
to the heartstrings.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
30 posted 2003-07-22 03:20 PM


I enjoyed reading the title! The poem was just an added bonus!

Warm hugs,
EA

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
31 posted 2003-07-22 03:59 PM


Wouldn't you think? Well done, enjoyed.
Sandra

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
32 posted 2003-07-25 01:01 PM


the more I think about it, the more I think she may have been right

but if there were a kind God, maybe it's his way of moving a body to where it should be, and would have been, if not for past misdirection

but then again, I have always heard that you are where you are meant to be...

damn, you got me thinking too much again

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

33 posted 2003-07-25 03:36 PM


you pack a wallop and love your point of views in understanding how a woman feels...your a great poet...thank you for writing and sharing.....
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