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Open Poetry #27
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wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

0 posted 2003-06-21 03:12 AM




She stood framed in the window
Watching the city below

As it went about its business
Occasionally splashing her
With its colors

She had said, she was a stranger here
Her pale beauty and gentle way
Attested to that

But, there she stood
In this nicotine painted
And whiskey-fragranced room
Marveling at the mundane around her

She had said, she just dropped into town
And wouldn’t be able to stay

But, she was here now
Fresh out of bed
All legs and warmth and murmured pleas

So, I watched her watching
While I toyed absentmindedly
With a feather and her badly bent halo

And recalled her saying
That she was looking for something
And never said what

But, what she had found
Seems to have been me

[This message has been edited by wranx (06-21-2003 03:21 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2003-06-21 03:14 AM


very cool write! and maybe she'll stay?
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
2 posted 2003-06-21 03:17 AM


And that's a good thing...to find.

This is so nice wranx~  
I take it, it's warming up down by the river?  I hope so, for your sake.

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
3 posted 2003-06-21 03:18 AM


i am sure it is...h
brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
4 posted 2003-06-21 02:14 PM


well
and aint that a damn shame....

yes........
this is classicwranx....
a beauty

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2003-06-21 03:34 PM


wranx,
Sensitivity has its own view, well done.

dreambuilder
Member
since 2003-03-23
Posts 319
caddyshack
6 posted 2003-06-21 04:17 PM


Poor poor girl

must have fallen pretty hard
when she bent that halo

in a smoke filled room with a poet & whiskey
run run away - lol

good write wranx
make sure its real & not the whiskey lol
her name may be bob

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

7 posted 2003-06-21 04:38 PM


'But, there she stood
In this nicotine painted
And whiskey-fragranced room
Marveling at the mundane around her'

You've captured something in this Ed, that I've tried many times to get into words.  And if I ever wanted to steal a verse, it's the one I quoted...lol.  Really glad I stopped for the read!  It played perfectly in video too.     

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

8 posted 2003-06-21 04:45 PM


But, there she stood
In this nicotine painted
And whiskey-fragranced room
Marveling at the mundane around her

She had said, she just dropped into town
And wouldn’t be able to stay

But, she was here now
Fresh out of bed
All legs and warmth and murmured pleas

So, I watched her watching
While I toyed absentmindedly
With a feather and her badly bent halo
====================================


looks to me like she found a soft place to fall...
love the tenderness and quiet adoration in this poet sir..
me thinks there will be further inspirations to come.

No matter what the differences
No matter what the cost
When words become our weapons ...
All that's beautiful is lost.

DeVante'

skyshine
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars
9 posted 2003-06-21 04:49 PM


Sometimes you find the best things unexpectedly!

~Elizabeth

Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...
~Jewel

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2003-06-21 09:50 PM


Gentle yeti? She had to be looking for you, because the yeti is notoriously difficult to find...unless he wants to be.




scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
11 posted 2003-06-21 09:58 PM


And you found her too...great read as always..

believe in what your heart feels...

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
12 posted 2003-06-21 10:26 PM



you really know how to honor a moment,
and another's soul

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
13 posted 2003-06-21 10:54 PM


wranx

What she came for..the way you saw her with your heart, makes me think that you are most worthy.  

Second Self
Junior Member
since 2003-05-15
Posts 15

14 posted 2003-06-21 11:37 PM


Hey, this is realy good! Really!
Got a book deal yet?



wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
15 posted 2003-06-22 12:17 PM


Thanks all!
This is only a reflection of someone from a long time back. I just dressed her in feathers.

Ed

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
16 posted 2003-06-22 02:43 AM


excellent write ed, been awhile since you've graced the blue or i'm blind..could be a combo
Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

17 posted 2003-06-22 03:19 AM


I love your style, always....

This gets me:

So, I watched her watching
While I toyed absentmindedly
With a feather and her badly bent halo

And recalled her saying
That she was looking for something
And never said what

But, what she had found
Seems to have been me



littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
18 posted 2003-06-22 03:39 AM


The write does not lie in what she seeks
it lies in what you seek . . .
xxoo

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
19 posted 2003-07-24 03:05 AM



Ed...this is lovely...your heart is showing.
I enjoyed this.
Hugs,
~Vicky

"My friends are my estate."
~Emily Dickinson

Velociraptor1
Junior Member
since 2003-07-23
Posts 14
Australia
20 posted 2003-07-24 04:53 AM


She is a lucky lady

Some terrific phrases you have penned m'friend and the imagery is smashing.

Maree


Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

21 posted 2003-07-24 04:56 AM


ooops Daniel forgot to sign out :shrug:

She is a lucky lady

Some terrific phrases you have penned m'friend and the imagery is smashing.

Maree

fate is not just
whose cooking  smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)


JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
22 posted 2003-07-24 05:12 AM


"But what she had found
seems to have been me."
I like the way you wrote this...James

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
23 posted 2003-07-24 04:29 PM


A wonderful treasure she found in you, Ed Special.

Beautifully written.

~Tier

Gina Culliney
Member
since 2003-03-08
Posts 170

24 posted 2003-07-24 05:54 PM


Hauntingly profound and very soul provocative indeed.
Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
25 posted 2003-07-24 06:32 PM


This is awesome. Love every word. Chris

"At one glance
I love you
With a thousand hearts."


— Mihri Hatun, Turkish poet  

    

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
26 posted 2003-07-24 06:56 PM


And recalled her saying
That she was looking for something
And never said what

But, what she had found
Seems to have been me


I love this, Ed.  Yep, I'll bet she found
what she was looking for.
Hugs  
Ethel

walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
27 posted 2003-07-24 07:16 PM


Loved it.
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