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Open Poetry #27
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Finite by electric light (rewrite)
| Open Poetry #27 |
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Finite by electric light (rewrite) |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia 
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it is there in curling shadows slicing blades of a silent vane cast long across the canopy the boundary between unlimited and finite by electric light what holds us down to solid earth when stars go spinning across the evening It is the mental melancholy of what never was that whispers from the silhouette and gnaws the human soul yet washes out like vampires blood in morning light but in light of mourning It is black and white and shades the in-between each passing slice of sultry air's misty melodies Beethoven wafting through unrepentant regret like the flicker of film And in the silence of electric motors churning air drones drones until sunrise |
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| © Copyright 2003 Local Rebel - All Rights Reserved | |||
timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
Hey Rebel....I like that thinking brain of yours. Great write. After I read stuff like this and plenty others here, I feel like I haven't moved past Roses are Red, and violets are blue!! Thank you Reb for making my thought wheels spin a little before bedtime. Tima C. Please visit my website: www.southerncountrywebdesign.com/~heart/ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hi Rebel...it's great to see a poem from you again...it has been a long time. Deep and soulful, you are. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Reb? Shame on me, for not reading more of your work sooner. This so ties in with my earlier post, that I wanted to thank you. It added a different dimension to that little seed of thought. So? Thank you,  You excel in the manner of writing I'm trying to explore right now, so don't be surprised if I'm watching you. |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
It is the mental melancholy of what never was that whispers from the silhouette and gnaws the human soul Yep, you're good and this was fresh, from a poets perspective. Rather state of the art kind of poetry!!! Nice going Local Reb~ |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
loved this |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
OH GOD!  I am SO damn happy that you put this up...this has always been a favorite, an awesome write!!! I 'bout fell over in the chair when I saw it here! Thanks for you! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
It is the mental melancholy of what never was that whispers from the silhouette and gnaws the human soul Yes... it is. *S* And it couldn't be described better. *S* Excellent write, nephew... I'm so glad the hawk is soaring in open again. *S* |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
I was never quite satisfied with this one before -- a little nip and tuck almost has it in shape... many thanks to all of you....hard to believe it's been a year since I wrote this -- and it was the only one I wrote last year.... Maybe I'll compose again -- time will tell if I have anything left to say. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Rebel: this is brilliant. I saw so many themes in this write. The endless night, the solidarity, the light , the finite and infinite possibilities which we encounter beneath the moon . . . and the vampire line was awesome xxoo |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
gracias littlewing -- yes, vampires paint a vivid image dont they? |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Good to see your name here, Rebel. This is a wonderful write...I'm liking it very much. Hope to see more soon. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Bonfirelight Member
since 2003-06-19
Posts 85London, England |
holds up man. every line. good write. enjoyed it lots |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
nice write n read,,, |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
what holds us down to solid earth when stars go spinning across the evening It is the mental melancholy of what never was that whispers from the silhouette and gnaws the human soul love these lines... while the whole thing is good, these stand out in my reading... nice work... nice indeed... |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Well, you can just add my name to your long list of fans!--fantastic!  Warm hugs! Earth Angel P.S. You only wrote one poem last year?!?--a talent like yours that is not used, is such a waste! |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
I bet you have much more to say but take your time saying it just the right way...like you did here. Susan |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Thank you vicky -- um -- my name? huh? I have 3 others in #27 currently -- that will probably be it for this month anyhow... Bonfire -- much appreciated -- I'll look forward to reading you as well.. QjQ -- thanks for the read and response Ron -- is your name just some secret code for chuck bukowski junior?  thanks for the read and write...Earthenly Angelic one -- I can use all the angels on my side I can get -- thankyou! (if you want to negotiate with my muse's union for a better contract please do -- it is often on strike!) Susan -- thank you very much  but I still hate the lines "of sultry air's misty melodies" -- how the heck did I not edit that?  |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Now this is a good write! ~ Enjoyed deeply ARCTIC WIND |
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