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Open Poetry #27
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Taken Hostage
| Open Poetry #27 |
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Taken Hostage |
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OwlPoet Junior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 17Fullerton, California, Urantia |
Taken Hostage Like a hostage in the night, I was forced down a dark corridor into a small alcove near the stairs that led down to the basement. Not wanting to create more chaos, I did as I was told, as I grasped the splintered handrail and climbed down to the damp cellar. I felt through the air, like I was batting against gnats, to find the string that pulled the switch to the only bulb that could add some light here. An old hatchet was buried an inch deep into a stump that must have been used to chop kindling. A wood thrush had built a nest near the window well, and I could hear a frog croak somewhere close. The cobwebs were thick. The chipped concrete floor was littered with dried alphabet soup. The sump pump smelled like an old abandoned sewer. The paint on the windows was a dark olive-drab green. The window putty was cracked like the bottom of a dry mud lake after a flood. I kept turning back to the dim light shadows that the wind pushed against the weathered walls. There were traces of floods here. The moldy smell of old papers reminded me of Chicago. A rusty chain was clamped to an old metal rod. A wooden ammo box full of pulleys was shoved hard against the coal fireplace. Spiders ate horse flies. A hint of sweet pipe smoke filled the damp air. Books were littered everywhere. In a room just to the east, a goddess waited for me to come to her and fill her. A dog was barking across the alley. The wind kept howling. The bulb burned out in a quick flash and the only light left was a new-moon darkness. Suddenly, I felt her kiss me behind my neck with her soft lips. We slowly turned to an embrace. that lasted a hundred years. I never awoke. I knew it wasn't a dream. Will Patrick [This message has been edited by OwlPoet (06-20-2003 02:17 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Will Patrick - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
very detailed, kinda creepy and neat all at the same time  I liked it |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
You paint such vivid images with your words... I could feel the crunch of dried pasta underfoot... you build such tension... and then I love the ending!!! *S* This is wonderful, Owl...I will definitely look forward to reading more of your poetry... welcome to Passions! *S* |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
One of your best, Will.... Let's put it back at the top, so people will see it. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Will, this is so good!! I was getting all shivery from fright, then the beautiful and passionate ending came up.....very, very good!!  "To be in love with love is truly to love".....by Paladin |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
OwlPoet Wonderful imagery set the scene like music to a movie...and then the ending ..(as my mother used to say with a sigh..."the final clinch") lovely! |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
will have to say wonderful writing...not that I am hesitant to compliment, its just that the 'subject matter' is so foreign to my heart the imagery and each step leading to the end are really nicely crafted |
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skyshine
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
Very interesting! Welcome to Passions!  ~Elizabeth Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone... |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
Images and flow are wonderful. Great write! Patricia |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Spooky Good! ARCTIC WIND |
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