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pisumnux
Junior Member

since 2003-06-11

Posts 49
Troy, NY

0 posted 2003-06-19 10:13 AM

Being A Better Man

Dedicated to the girl who makes me want to be a better man.

I am not the best I can be
but I am always trying.
Everyday I try to think of
everyway I can improve myself,
make myself worthy of her
love and devotion.

But try as I might,
I still fail.
For the more time I spend
trying to become better,
less time I spend
not being the man I already am.
Being a better man.

I try to find a better way to see her,
but become distracted from
a conversation online,
I try to find a better way finance my education,
so that I can care for her in the years to come,
but I delay calling her until later,
too later.

I try hard to become better,
but I forget to be good.
I try so hard to spend
more time with her later,
I forget to spend time with her now.
I try to become better,
but become worse
being a better man.

Now I will do what I must
to become a better man
by becoming the man I was
when we met
when I first saw her smile,

The smile which lit up the room,
the smile she made when I first kissed her,
the smile she made the first time I sang to her.
The smile that first inspired me into...

Being A Better Man.

If it weren't for my horse...

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

1 posted 2003-06-19 11:21 AM

consider showing her this ?

it's the thought that usually counts..raw and emotional love it!

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

2 posted 2003-06-19 11:40 AM

Just the title is a beautiful compliment.....and the poem its self is as well......

Lauren~

Through the darkness
I can see your light
And you will always shine
And I can feel your heart in mine

I will remember you

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

3 posted 2003-06-19 01:10 PM

Yes.

This.

Exactly.

...and YOU make me want to be a better poet. Wish I'd written this one.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2003-06-19 01:11 PM

good writing!

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

5 posted 2003-06-19 01:16 PM

Good thoughts, good poem--good man!

Warm hugs,
EA

dreambuilder
Member

since 2003-03-23

Posts 319
caddyshack

6 posted 2003-06-19 06:23 PM

I especially loved these parts:

I try to find a better way to see her,
but become distracted from
a conversation online,

I try so hard to spend
more time with her later,
I forget to spend time with her now.

wow - good punch to these lines

Keep trying to be a better man

I do watch for your name
I see much talent & do enjoy your writing

. . . all that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream . . .

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

7 posted 2003-06-19 06:37 PM

Yes, definitely....show her this poem...
and you will make major points...

Excellent feelings expressed...nicely done.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

8 posted 2003-06-19 08:46 PM

I really like this one. *S* And when someone wants to be better, strives to be better... I think they're likely to succeed, in spite of a few setbacks. *S*
Show this to her... she'll love it. *S*

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

9 posted 2003-06-20 05:43 AM

Yes...changing can involve work...James

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

10 posted 2008-02-25 07:22 PM

I really enjoyed your post!

ARCTIC WIND

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