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Open Poetry #27
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On Dostoyevksy and an apple
| Open Poetry #27 |
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On Dostoyevksy and an apple |
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Old_Shoe_New_Laces Junior Member
since 2003-06-16
Posts 31 |
'On Dostoyevsky and an apple' One could tell how much you suffered by the mark of your brow, the depth of your eyes, and the way you held your glass last night sitting at the kitchen table, calling you “Sir Dost” perhaps rudely, only because I was too embarrassed to pronounce your name incorrectly strangely though, you didn’t appear to mind, perhaps only because you were drinking all my vodka and manhandling my woman somehow innocently enough not to make a scene and although I couldn’t make out a damn word you were saying, it sounded pleasant for Russian and what your tongue could not translate your body spoke motioning for one of our green apples and a knife with your hand while I got the apple, you looked to my girl and patted your thigh with your right hand, she sat in your lap, and in the reflection on the Microwave door, I saw you pinch her side and brush the scruff of your beard against the back of her shoulder from the apple you took a slice for yourself, a slice for your drink, and one you slipped between my lover’s lips you pinched again, she giggled, this time I had to remind myself how you’ve been dead over a hundred years, it being only natural, and still my guest, somehow like a close neighbor or distant relative “I’ll need to get more apples this week,” I thought, sipping my beer and lighting a cigarette besides, she never smiled that way sitting in my lap. |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
I enjoyed this story. Welcome to Passions!!!!! Hope to see more of your poetry. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Laqe Member
since 2003-06-15
Posts 72Michigan, US |
Honestly, I didn't quite grasp the concept of this poem.. but I really liked it, oddly enough. It was very easily read, and I like that -- yet it was intelligent and complex. Very nice. .Echo. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
"Besides, she never smiled that way sitting in my lap." Love this...reminded me of an a woman I liked but when I saw the way she smiled and was happy around another man I knew I stood no chance...and who would want to spoil anothers happiness...James |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
you know.... this indeed has a familiar voice to it..one I enjoyed. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
B: this is so in-depth I love this . . . laughing over here . . . you are brilliant indeed xxoo |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Just curious...why an apple? I have an idea, but I doubt it's right. Does it have anything to do with the devil's sinful seduction of Eve? Thanks for the read! -Leah |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Brilliant writing welcome to PIP [This message has been edited by Aenimal (06-16-2003 09:37 PM).] |
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Old_Shoe_New_Laces Junior Member
since 2003-06-16
Posts 31 |
Thank you all for the kind words. Too kind really. No, I really had no true intention to make a connection between apples and eve's seduction. I am not much of a religious person. Thank you for your insight though... appreciated. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very cool write! enjoyed! |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Hah... well, I don't know much about Dostoyevsky myself, and haven't read any of his work, I admit... but that doesn't really matter because I think (and I'm very capable of being wrong) that your poem is a bit simpler than that. It's got a definite jealousy, sure... but it's of someone who's not really there, but brings warmth and happiness into your lover. So what... she's reading Crime and Punishment and it's making her happier than you thought you could? I don't know if I get it. Maybe I should read the book myself sometime, but forgive me for not rushing off to read it now--I have a lot on my list, yes I do. I prefer this to the other of your poems that I've read--the story was more distinct and visual and your description of specific events really helped to keep a constant image in my mind. Well done here... And this is late but, welcome to Passions--I hope you stick around. Somewhere behind all the synonyms for "good," there's substance to be found in the people here. Don't worry about that... just be patient, and learn where to look. Parasite Faith is a fine invention |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
quote: OSNL, I really enjoyed that clever line. |
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