i hope your pen fails you--midway through sentences leaving broken analogies to taper off in bleached blanks, where your brilliance fades with clever catchphrases running off cold ink and the most insincere of all inspiration ..
because this is nothing more than unprophetic. chickenscratch scriptures with revisions seeping through scrabble metaphors and kaleido-images, serving as just another playonwords brinking margins, and the avant garde you never were ..
but perhaps, in this drab-monochromatic world where pens produce the poet and gaudy fonts feed the starving critic, your bravado slips off silver tongues as something beyond poetic. and you grace these lines--with the glory of un-nailed palms
but i can see right past your roughdraft heroics .. nothing more than ballpoint calligraphy--at its finest. misleading green eyes and artless minds to believe in poetry that is imperfect enough, to slide as masterp e i ces
[This message has been edited by christian (06-16-2003 02:08 AM).]
ok, I read you when you started, and knew you had potential....you have reached my expectations and surpassed them....this is incredible......*standing to applaud*
ps... I know my poetry is 'self' centered, but this very poem is why I cannot write one until I have lived it, and then obey the urge to make it come to life on paper with my pen...or so I hope this is what my poetry speaks...anyway... great write!!
Somewhere in time~
You do have potential, it gushes all over your words. How old are you? I can recall coming across a post where you said you were around 18 years old and if that's the case, your poetry is so mature for your age. Although this is more intense than your usual stuff with a little more spunk and teethgritting, I still enjoy it, as with all your other pieces. I hope to read more from you, thanks for the inspiration!