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Open Poetry #27
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Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2003-06-15 11:47 PM


He doesn't talk with me
as much as he does at me
mostly in the lifeless drone
of the miserable

Shifting from topic to topic
simultaneously an authority
on everything and nothing
with each word a tension mounts

But then he'll laugh
and for a moment there is
life in his eyes and a calm
in this storm of a human being

He is my father
an inescapable
and often sobering truth
but in those seconds

it's not so bad
it's not so bad

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (06-16-2003 02:09 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved
apoetdreams
Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 52
NJ, USA
1 posted 2003-06-15 11:50 PM


Great expression of this feeling. I remember being right there where you are. Mixed emotions are often difficult to express. You succeeded.

Make your words as sweet as honey, someday you may have to eat them.

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
2 posted 2003-06-15 11:51 PM


Raphael,
Peace...

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
3 posted 2003-06-15 11:58 PM


You are a great poet and an insightfull human being.  

In whatever way it happened, he is part of you.

Thank you for sharing this poem.

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
4 posted 2003-06-16 12:49 PM


Some people say a man becomes his father in time. I do not believe it. I think a man has the option, and if he chooses, he may become his father. If he fails to choose, he's liable to slide any any direction that seems to fill whatever vacuum he feels at the moment.

In some cases it's nice to have that choice. In others, it's a desperate need.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
5 posted 2003-06-16 12:53 PM


huuugssss for real dawg *sigh*

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
6 posted 2003-06-16 01:27 AM


thanks a poetsdreams for the compliment

Larry that is the most beautiful gift I could ever ask for thanks

Aw icebox first you compliment me than you call me a human being make up your mind lol I prefer to think of myself as a new species..i sure look like it


Ed i hope not, he's not a bad man or doesn't mean to be but there are/were times that are just unforgivable you know..oh well such is life

Yo G hugsssss back,, word yo

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (06-16-2003 01:28 AM).]

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
7 posted 2003-06-16 01:33 AM


Raph:

I felt like this on my wedding day . . .

this touched me deep
Yes . . . much peace
as Larry has said
xxoo

christian
Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331

8 posted 2003-06-16 01:50 AM



third stanza is a little immature for the
content of the poem, but, the rest is
masterpiece material. it's honest, and
honesty wins. wins hearts.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
9 posted 2003-06-16 02:08 AM


Thanks Sue i wish you didn't

christian I know what you're saying and I just added it to lighten things up but you're right it doesn't belong. I'll do away with it just tried to lighten the gloom and doom i keep writing grins..thanks

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
10 posted 2003-06-16 02:11 AM


I do feel the ouch in this....

I wish it wasnt so....

but I have learned
that nothing
is learned
when everything can happen

jeez I aint making no sense...
I cant figure out
if life sucks....or it is perfect
because
it seems to be both

anyway
this is
one of my favorites of yours dude

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
11 posted 2003-06-16 02:15 AM


Thanks dude just finished replying to yours grin..and to answer the question of whether it sucks or is perfect I'll flip that coin and wait for the answer
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
12 posted 2003-06-16 02:36 AM


this is very touching for me Raphael. I don't speak to my father. He will die and I won't go to his funeral. Maybe I'll regret that in years after, but I just can't get past certain things now and don't know if I ever will.

Thanks for the write. I'm glad to hear that it's not so bad for you...in some other people's lives, it's too bad...and that's sad.

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
13 posted 2003-06-16 02:44 AM


But then he'll laugh
and for a moment there is
life in his eyes and a calm
in this storm of a human being


Raph, this really touched me. If only those moments could last longer........I wish they could, for you, Raph.  

Heart hugs to you, my friend  
Ethel

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (06-16-2003 02:45 AM).]

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
14 posted 2003-06-16 02:46 AM


Dix it's only been the last year or so we've talked and it still hangs by a thread..I love him for what he could be and hate him for what he is or at least was the jury's still out on that

Ethel thanks for the words and hugs

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
15 posted 2003-06-16 04:39 AM


yes..    

i needed this. to make me feel sane. thanks m friend.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
16 posted 2003-06-16 03:04 PM


Feel being the operative words right..grins..thank gem
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
17 posted 2008-02-06 05:40 PM


Enjoyed the Write

ARCTIC WIND

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