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Open Poetry #27
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timothysangel1973
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Senior Member
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725
Never close enough

0 posted 2003-06-15 02:37 AM


I wish I could remember how it felt to be your daughter.
I wish I weren't 30 and still afraid to face your scrutiny.
You hold me under a light, and you magnify my every move.
You criticize and belittle my every action with an equal & painful reaction.
Why can't you just love me despite my human ways.
You aren't perfect.
You scare me still.
I'm 30 and I am still afraid to stand up to you.
I'm pathetic.
I'm a child trapped in a big girl body.
"Let me out!", that little girl screams.
But you won't ever let me go.
You have to control me.
I'm not worthy of your love minus the control that you must have on my life.
You become angry and you shut me out.
You've always made me choose.
But, each time I choose...you win, I lose.
When I was little it was you or mom.
But, it was your DIVORCE not mine.
I was just the one, that lost love left behind.
That's a page in life that's been forgotten,
Maybe for you, but not for me.
I was torn and destroyed way back when, can't you see?
I broke out and stood on my own.
I made a decision.
The wrong one in your eyes.
But, one that had to be made.
I'm sorry that you can't see what turning your back has done to me.
"Be tough!", you say.
Then you knock me down.
I dry the tears, get back up.
I look, and you aren't around.
I'm tired of feeling ashamed for growing up and getting out.

Love me or love me not...
What is this about.
You, me, control...
I just can't figure it out.

If you cant get rid of the skeletons in your closet, you'd best teach them how to dance.  George Bernard Shaw

© Copyright 2003 Tima Chavis Cooke - All Rights Reserved
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
1 posted 2003-06-15 04:55 AM


It is about control!  Boy I am sure many can identify with this heartbreaking poem.  I know I can.  If it is from life experience I am so glad you are away from him in order to take back your power and be all that you can be for you.  In the end, you are the only one to judge who and what you are, and that is a fact!  Nicely written from the heart.

                        

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2003-06-15 04:56 AM


time to get numb
QjQ
Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.
3 posted 2003-06-24 04:21 PM


enjoyed,,,,
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
4 posted 2003-06-24 04:31 PM


Powerful outpouring of emotions! If this is your own story, you have told it well! I do believe that recognition of a problem is the first step in eradicating it! You are well on your way to claiming your own personal power!

Warm hugs,
Earth Angel


Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
5 posted 2009-01-23 02:02 PM


Powerful Poem Indeed!


ARCTIC WIND

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