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Open Poetry #27
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2003-06-13 10:40 PM


Someone had to smelt the iron
some one had to pound the bar
founding glowing strength to bits--
Someone had to forge the nail.

Someone had to fell the tree.
and split the wood accordingly,
a carpenter toiled lovingly
binding beam to beam in cross.

Someone had to give offense--
someone must--release the dove.
Someone had to dare the wrath
offering an olive branch
in the hand that proffered love--
even as the tables turned.

Someone had to yield to tempt
and live in infamy's contempt--
someone had to place his head
in the noose of "where I'm led".
Thirty dirty pieces of
silver dangling from tree.


Then someone was called to judge,
and even he was prone to shrug
pointedly in wash of hands
returning 'Will' to everyman--
in beg to hear a wise result.

Someone else thought of a crown
and knew just how to weave thorns so...
others had to mark the flesh
with the whip of no remorse.

Others had to be witness,
cheers or tears--
the same release--
others had to follow path
and watch the death and birth of peace.

Someone with some diligence
had to pound the nail through bone.
Someone had to stand and pray--
helplessness that cries "atone".

Someone wept at suffering,
somes of one laughed at the flesh
dripping blood born of the sun
sucking on a sour sponge
begging for reprieve.

All these things--
they had to be--
perfection in its symmetry...
much too much for just one eye--
the reason we were granted three--

Someone said it was just me--
but I did as I was told.

[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (06-14-2003 12:49 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
1 posted 2003-06-13 10:47 PM


This is so sad but Judas Iscriot brought his demise upon himself. I enjoyed the read.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Jason Lyle
Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438
With my darkling
2 posted 2003-06-13 10:50 PM


OMG Karen, this is stunning.You carried me captured through the entire write.This is awesome work.

Jason

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
3 posted 2003-06-13 10:57 PM



My oh my.



Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
4 posted 2003-06-13 10:59 PM


Genius
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2003-06-13 11:01 PM


K...this is amazing!
I am speechless.
Into the library for another read later.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Patricia
Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160
Missouri
6 posted 2003-06-13 11:23 PM


Wow...I love reading your words...what a story you weave.  I only hope the sorceress of my muse can produce for me in the future a fraction what your does for you.

Patricia

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2003-06-13 11:33 PM


Someone else thought of a crown
and knew just how to weave thorns so...
others had to mark the flesh
with the whip of no remorse.

Others had to be witness,
cheers or tears--
the same release--
others had to follow path
and watch the death and birth of peace.

Someone with some diligence
had to pound the nail through bone.
Someone had to stand and pray--
helplessness that cries "atone".

Someone weeped at suffering,
somes of one laughed at the flesh
dripping blood born of the sun
sucking on a sour sponge
begging for reprieve.

All these things--
they had to be--
perfection in its symmetry...
much too much for just one eye--
the reason we were granted three--

Someone said it was just me--
but I did as I was told.

=============================

But YOU thought of this poem...this masterpiece of rhyme...and I find it so poetically just that you would write something at this impressive level on your birthday-- for many times I have said you were born to write..that rhyme runs thru your veins. This is brilliance of verse... you are a poet of exception KA

Im still imagining your voice ...
can see the sparkle in your eyes.
I cant explain your power over me
Its understated understood & beautiful.
cj

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
8 posted 2003-06-14 12:13 PM


As a poet, you've got grit!

Once more, I salute you.

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
9 posted 2003-06-14 12:21 PM


All these things--
they had to be--
perfection in its symmetry...
much too much for just one eye--
the reason we were granted three--


Yes, Karen, it was all in the plan.

Hugs  
Ethel

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
10 posted 2003-06-14 12:33 PM


Someone had to die that day
and find the way through agony
blinking away the tears of pain
to illuminate the path again...


NickTofteland
Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 74
MN, USA
11 posted 2003-06-14 01:12 AM


Your faith burns through your words. Your ways of expression amaze me. Awesome, simply awesome.
Edder
Senior Member
since 2003-04-02
Posts 671

12 posted 2003-06-14 01:51 AM


you are one of a kind. simply amazing
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
13 posted 2003-06-14 02:24 AM


K:

your right . . .
he did as he was told . . .
this is your most brilliant piece

I always felt that way too
like they both knew but it had to be
amazing - *shaking head*
in awe
xxoo  

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
14 posted 2003-06-14 04:42 AM


brilliant write!
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

15 posted 2003-06-14 08:29 AM


came back to put this in me library...
still shaking me mothy head at the grace of this one me twin.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

16 posted 2003-06-14 10:54 PM


Popping in for a quick thank you and a hug.

You guys are so kind--it's just overwhelming, and honestly, I am quite often left not knowing what to say...smile? It ain't easy shutting me up either, but you guys sure did it this time!

Thank you.

NickTofteland
Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 74
MN, USA
17 posted 2003-06-15 02:16 AM


Shut you up!? Never! I believe I speak for us all when saying "you must NEVER shut up." Your writing blows me away, I'm still in awe...
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
18 posted 2003-06-15 02:22 AM


the one that jesus loved... no less...

some scholars suggest it was 'set up' -- ah well -- I'm not a gonna go down that path -- not gonna do it.

yer pome -- yer thread -- it's good -- and that's good enuff...

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
19 posted 2003-06-15 10:24 AM


Serenity, my girl?  You always fascinate me.  I was glad that this one wasn't so far over my head (like some of your work) so I could actually understand it as well as enjoy it.  

It's very true, and not just in this particular instance, that it's far too easy to pin the blame on a single person... it makes us feel better about history, doesn't it?  Nobody wants to admit that it was normal people, like themselves, who turned on Christ... it's too frightening to think of.

I love this poem... it's a real slap in the face where it's needed.  

My favourite stanza was near the end:

quote:
Someone wept at suffering,
somes of one laughed at the flesh
dripping blood born of the sun
sucking on a sour sponge
begging for reprieve.


I just LOVE it...

Brian

[This message has been edited by Local Parasite (06-15-2003 10:25 AM).]

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
20 posted 2003-06-15 10:44 AM


Now dear Karen, this is the second time today that I cry (first on icebox' outstanding poem "When the old man died I did not cry"). This is WONDERFUL. I confess I have always had such pity for Judas and deep in my heart I know he was forgiven ... Jesus knew he was the one who loved him most...indeed afterwards he could not endure the pain. Oh my God Karen! Judas speaks through you here indeed! .... All things were performed according to the Divine Plan I believe. We all are part of it.
I bow to you for this masterpiece.
Love and hugs. Margherita

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

21 posted 2003-06-15 10:56 AM


Truly a masterpiece....
Edder
Senior Member
since 2003-04-02
Posts 671

22 posted 2003-06-16 01:07 AM


back for one more look...
christian
Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331

23 posted 2003-06-16 01:43 AM



this is stunning. seriously, just
amazing. one of the best pieces i have
ever read. wow.

bravo to you. bravo.


brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
24 posted 2003-06-16 02:28 AM


this lives in rarified air

this is cream

and it is so ....so true
you stab and catch.....the meat

it is whatt I am foundering about right now
over
in every person...in every act
there is the balance
you have spoken about it.......and just recently
the antichrist
we do have that that
difference in us
a mirroredshadow
we can think we are doing good
but there is always...always.....a dark side
many times...we cant even se it..or comprehend that what we are doing contains "evil"
it all seems proper
sigh
this is amazing Karen
this IS
I wish I had written it
you are my Word
smile

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

25 posted 2003-06-16 02:29 PM


yep, we might have questions of how things happened, but without each person, we would not have what we have...perfectly, brilliantly(to stead ps's word) written...
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

26 posted 2003-06-16 04:14 PM


The moth may not know much...but she knows poetry baby...and this is poetry in motion...
Do you see how many people have been blown away by this amazing write???
I just love it when the forums proves the moth right

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

27 posted 2003-06-16 05:59 PM


hmmm....aol gremlins????
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
28 posted 2003-06-17 01:02 AM


ptth, aol gremlins... I know that symptom, it happens with people on MY ISP too.

Well, let's send this one for a few more rounds in piptalk!  

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
29 posted 2003-06-17 01:22 AM


Now that was definitely poetry in motion!  YOu make me proud to know you yanno?
garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
30 posted 2003-06-30 05:29 AM



Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
31 posted 2003-06-30 06:53 AM


stunned to silence...

I enjoyed each line... very much

regards
sudhir

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

32 posted 2003-06-30 09:54 AM


Jeez Karen, I don't know how I missed this masterful write from you m'dear.

Applauding you!

and adding to my library.

heart huggies

Maree

fate is not just
whose cooking  smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)


Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

33 posted 2003-06-30 09:55 AM


er adding now
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
34 posted 2003-06-30 09:58 AM



I missed this
the first time around...

thank goodness for them
that visit the back pages....

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

35 posted 2004-06-13 02:16 PM


Well now....just look at the date on this one.

more Birthday--BRILLIANCE

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

36 posted 2005-07-18 12:57 PM


theres nothing you cant write about...
this is what I meant (on your post today) by intellectually brilliant...

I can only write of what I know...
emotions or experience...creek rocks and heartache rhymes...but you...you can put yourself in other centuries, in others minds...the river Rhine...biblical times,
to me ...
thats the true measurement of being a writer.... youre a poetic outta body experience.  

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
37 posted 2005-07-18 01:59 AM


Karen...I'm glad this was brought back...it's amazing!!  
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