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Open Poetry #27
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gyiel marlok
Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 145
OHIO

0 posted 2003-06-13 06:36 PM


   FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO CAN'T STOMACH THE INTENSE STUFF.
      SOMETIMES WE DON'T see eye to eye
      darling you brought me here,no reason
     to defy
      aspects sometimes prolonged in parts of mind
      jolting me to free up the line..
disagreements..
         can fuel pettiness...
         how's about trying to put out mine
      picnic tables
         reminding me of how you labeled
my province of love..
     heart disabled
longing for a purpose,frivolous,like volatile
doves
       without you i'll squander
         in dense air
        leave spaces blank
       decipher them here
       codebreaker..to heartbreaker
   for you i'll live in squalor
     I'LL STOP MY SLOW CAR...
        i could sit and wait at your window...
      watch for your somber joy...
   i love your face..i learned from your poise
    together did we have goals...
    i guess it's no longer important
         just to be sure i go back for old times sake
       for some indication
   my coins been
flipped inside your soul..i hope
          your happy where ever you are.
        for you i'll stop my slow car...

i never meant to leave you
i never meant to leave you
i never meant to leave you
        

© Copyright 2003 GYIEL MARLOK - All Rights Reserved
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
1 posted 2003-06-13 10:02 PM


i never meant to leave you
i never meant to leave you
i never meant to leave you

let her know.....maybe you can come home again

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2003-06-14 05:15 AM


damn!
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
3 posted 2008-02-01 09:13 PM


Maybe if you let her know you will go home again is very true!

ARCTIC WIND

Bob K
Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208

4 posted 2008-02-02 11:45 PM


  Dear gyiel marlok,

                      You write up to the point when you have something human and heartbreaking to say.  Like most of us, that's exactly the point where you want to stop.  Everything up to there is risk-free.  You don't have to be afraid of looking foolish, being rejected, putting yourself on the line.

     The job of a poet, though is to take that risk, face the terror and fail often enough to make peace with his wastebasket.  You got through this time to the beginning, which is extraordinary.  Most people never get that far, and most people never will.  Now the problem is living with the terror of finding what you need to say.  Having the guts to get this far, I believe you can win through.

     I'd suggest to you that it might be a good time to simply allow yourself to play with the language and have some fun.  Allow the language to take you where you need to go.  Can't hurt, can it?

My best, BobK.

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