In your dreams
I am very sorry for not getting back to this subject, I have been busy. I am reading over your responses and I realize my answers are very complicated so you will have to be patient. I think the best start is to break up the essay and explain. I am no literary genius so I am sure I perhaps expressed my thoughts to abstractly.
‘I read an earlier post concerning "what it means to be a man," here in the USA. I went through each and every post. I know I have read in other blogs that "men are no longer the productive society leaders" they were forty to sixty years ago. Normally I don't really care, but due to events over the last few months this got me thinking.'
'Perhaps it's easy to blame young men of today of falling from the straight and narrow path to salvation. I wonder sometimes if it is a lonely road.’
“What it means to be a man” is an ideal that has changed throughout the generations. It takes no literary talent to state that, because it is a fact. Although millions have outlined criteria for what it takes to be a man I attempted to imply everything seems pretty lonely. I personally felt that was as much as I could say since I am no man.
Perhaps I should have quoted some examples before criticizing points of view that "men" must carry society on their shoulders, or instead implied a few less between the lines.
‘Traditionally, as a child in America, we were protected from harm and loved unconditionally by our parents. Slowly we are raised to know love is not forever and our hearts become hardened to faith and forgiveness. Our wicked tongues hate our neighbors and brothers and our eyes' perversion began to covet the innocence of childhood.’
I attempted to transition from other perspectives into my own perceived perspective. I started with what I hope most people would consider an ideal childhood. Then I talked about how even in an ideal and protected setting, we are exposed to the world and learn to hate and hurt. In this hate and hurt we become jealous of childhood and wage war against it. Even if we grow up in an ideal setting, sometimes the hate inside prevents us from protecting others (no matter what their age). I hope that it is understood that by child I mean an innocent person.
‘So instead, children now are forced to teach parents unconditional love: like teaching a trick to an old dog. How tiring must it be to love someone when you do not know what love is.’
When I look I this last comment, I believe the message I was trying to convey was the hopelessness of being a “child” in today’s society. One example of this is parents who have children to complete themselves, instead of out of love and sacrifice. This forces these “children” to grow up fast without learning to sacrifice. One may conclude this is perhaps a good way to produce psychopaths. Imagine not knowing how to receive love and not wanting to give love. I also wanted to point out the loneliness of the situation as well. Imagine growing up learning love is only a hard thing. Perhaps that is not a very good motivator for young adults to form real relationships.
‘When God created man he was alone... Even with all the animals and wonders that the Garden of Eden provided, he was alone. We know this from the bible. Therefore from part of him came woman. They were apart of each other, and the same.’
This was a brief example I stated of how the Old Testament story that states that God had no intention to have us live in this world alone. Instead he wants us to see ourselves in each other and love one another. Whether you believe in god or not, even in ancient times this shows how people felt community was to be.
‘Today I think about what it means to be a woman. Everything I see, hear and feel. Perhaps it's easy to close our eyes and point our finger into the darkness. I find myself now 27 years of age. I made a mess of my life "fulfilling" my so called "self-esteem" with lies of "independence" and "self-reliance." The rise of feminism brought the "plague" of we "don't need men" to carry the mantle of responsibility. ‘’‘
Femininity is an interesting gender role. I know the rise of feminism, started from right and honorable fight for equality, but instead tried to redefine equality and what it means to be female. I fear in the process prevented a society of equality to occur. I know in our culture there is traditionally four gender roles, but in other culture there can be 20-30 gender role. These arise when society has a “job” that needs to be filled. The rise of feminism though brought many good things, along with the bad. You may ask what bad came from this? It is my opinion that although women should be allowed to compete with men as equals, it neglected that women or a woman can’t do everything on her own. The needs to be a support structure were everyone takes on the burden equally.
As men Struggle and compete with women over "responsibility," and children like Peter-Pan go out to play... No body needs anyone and no one grows up.
I guess what I attempted to say here was that the traditional feminine role that use to raise the kids looking at their parents never wanting to grow up, because it looks too hard. Why should they?
'The truth is a real woman needs a man and a real man needs a woman. The mantle of responsibility needs to be carried by both in marriage. They need to teach their children unconditional love so that the children grow to seek and desire unconditional love from others. Not just love of a woman, but love of family and community.'
I guess this may be interpreted many ways, but what I am saying is that whatever or whoever we are we owe our community the humility of being both a giver and a taker. Although it is believed that there is no value in someone who must be a taker (elderly or sick) in many political belief systems, it is in fact a need in society. It teaches us that we are weak and we can fail, but no matter what we are loved and valued. Elderly, the sick, and even the destitute are valued members in society because it teaches us to love.
'Men 50+ years ago sacrificed so much because they not only love their wives and community, but they needed them as well. Women supported the men (although in a different way then is possible today) because they loved them and supported their community because they loved their community.'
Some final comments:
Even though the rise of feminism brought many good things to womankind, it also left behind a niche. It brought shame to those who are takers, where you could only be a taker if you are child. Now neither men nor women can be takers, but must constantly give or be a super hero. This leaves children watching their parents give and give, but never receive. Even if their parents are good to each other and share responsibility, this over giving, self-serving rightness is overly rampant in society. Many children just don’t grow up, because they are afraid of failing and carrying the load alone.
Is there something wrong with men who stay at their parents’ home only playing video games? Yes. I would rather hope that they are not talented at one thing or another. I rather not think about wasted potential in society, but none the less it is happening. Sometimes it happens because of mental disorder, but other times who may know the reason, but it does seem to trend about the same time as the rise of “feminism.” I am not implying that women need to go back to the days of yore, but perhaps society should take a look back on its self and ask if society should be the same as community.
I also hope this clarified somethings. I know my rants can wonder, so if you have any more questions please be specific.
-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos