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Passions in Poetry

Grudge

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Falling rain
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0 posted 02-11-2011 08:49 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain


Are grudges wrong to hold? I want to hear your opinions.
Sunshine
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1 posted 02-11-2011 09:25 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Grudges, my friend,
are quick to make one sick.
Unless the mind is used to ease
and erase troubles, grudges
only cause pain, and increase
tension, and usually come
to a very bad end.

That's my story, and I'm sticking
to it.

serenity blaze
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2 posted 02-11-2011 09:32 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

I like to think of it as being on an emotional budget.

Sunshine is right about emotional exhaustion (bankruptcy) and illness.

So...I prefer to not think in the negative of holding a grudge. There are just some situations (and people) which I can't afford.

I like to think that getting along with others is never permanently out of the question, though.

That just might have to be postponed due to my own inadequacies at the time.
Stephanos
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3 posted 03-08-2011 08:34 PM       View Profile for Stephanos   Email Stephanos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Stephanos's Home Page   View IP for Stephanos

a "grudge" is a colloquialism for unforgiveness.  Is it a good thing for someone to be unforgiving of someone else?  I don't think so, since it only allows the bitterness of someone else's wrongdoing to have control or influence over you.  Of course that doesn't mean that forgiveness comes easy.  Firstly it is an act of the will that has to be reaffirmed again and again, against new waves of offensive emotions and memories.  Feelings don't always come in line with our choices, but given time, they will.  As a Christian, I think radical forgiveness has a Theological basis ... If God, through Christ, has forgiven the whole of my sins, then who am I to refuse someone my forgiveness for a particular sin?  However, none of this makes it easy or any less of a problem when I feel a "grudge" for someone.  But it does clarify things for me, and help me make up my mind.  


One thing that strikes me though, is how easy I can have a grudge for someone over something fairly trivial, in comparison to wrongs I've seen done to others.  Jesus said love your enemies.  I don't know that I've ever really had any.  I have a hard enough time, sometimes, loving people who simply inconvenience me or insult me unwittingly, but who can hardly be called enemies.  God help me if I ever really encounter the malice of an outright enemy.

I do know that if I offend other people, I would want them to forgive me.


On a lighter note, think of how the word "grudge" sounds ... like "sludge".  But then again it sounds like fudge too.  Oh well, I guess sound-comparison doesn't help us on this one.     


Stephen  
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4 posted 03-09-2011 05:02 PM       View Profile for Uncas   Email Uncas   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Uncas


Holding a grudge is an evolutionary stable strategy, without grudges and the good sense to hold and act upon them society, as we know it, probably wouldn't exist.

.
serenity blaze
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5 posted 03-09-2011 07:12 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Grudges are exhausting.
Ron
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6 posted 03-09-2011 07:34 PM       View Profile for Ron   Email Ron   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ron's Home Page   View IP for Ron

By that logic, Uncas, murder would be an evolutionary stable strategy. And it would sure as heck eliminate the need to carry a grudge.

Less exhausting, too.
serenity blaze
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7 posted 03-09-2011 09:41 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Sunshine
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8 posted 03-09-2011 10:09 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

It would be nice, indeed, to know what Falling rain decided, too.



Uncas
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9 posted 03-10-2011 02:04 PM       View Profile for Uncas   Email Uncas   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Uncas


Not really Ron, the strategy I was thinking of was tit for tat, or more precisely tit for two tats, both of which require the ability to hold, and pay back, a grudge under given conditions.

Murder, in contrast, would be decidedly unstable - show me a society where the members chose killing everyone they met as a potentially stable strategy and I'll show you a society doomed to extinction.

serenity blaze
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10 posted 03-10-2011 04:35 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

MURDER?

That's a bit extreme...

I was thinking more along the lines of shooting the neighbor the finger with the old, "just scratchin' m'nose" trick.

Ron
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11 posted 03-10-2011 05:38 PM       View Profile for Ron   Email Ron   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ron's Home Page   View IP for Ron

Who said anything about "killing everyone they met?" Your strategy would only lead to killing those what deserved it, a common enough philosophy in our modern tales of the wild, wild west.  

It's also common enough in modern American, at least in 35 states. Killing is tit for tat, Uncas, carried to its logical conclusion. Of course, some might argue we aren't just killing those who deserve it; we are, in fact, killing those we THINK deserve it. That's a subtle but perhaps very real distinction? It's a distinction that has characterized much of human history, from the Inquisition to the Holocaust to the execution of Saddam Hussein. There always seems to be someone somewhere deserving of death.

My real point, of course, was that grudges and tit for tat aren't any more stabilizing than is murder, differing only in degree, not in kind. While my life might depend on the avoidance of precarious ledges, I don't necessarily have to feel animosity towards those ledges to survive. The choice to fear and hate high places is, indeed, a choice.

I believe society endures in spite of our human enmities, Uncas, not because of them.


serenity blaze
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12 posted 03-10-2011 07:05 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Then there is this:

I could suppose that my current sinus eruption/infection is karma for my juvenile surreptitious game of shooting my neighbor the finger by rubbing my nose.

Or maybe it was just plain DUMB of me to touch my nose that often in the middle of a flu epidemic.

There is logic in there somewhere. I know there is--er, isn't there?

NO MORE NYQUIL FOR ME, MA!



I shall behave.

*peace out poetkins*



I'm exhausted. *laughing*
Essorant
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13 posted 03-15-2011 11:53 PM       View Profile for Essorant   Email Essorant   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Essorant's Home Page   View IP for Essorant


It is natural and reasonable to have a grudge after being wronged by someone in some way, unless or until it is taken to unnatural or unnreasonable extents.    If one be viciously assaulted by someone, it is reasonable for him to have/feel a sore grudge and would be rather unnatural and unreasonable not to have a grudge.  But if a teacher gave you an F fifty years ago in Math for getting the answers wrong, is it reasonable still to have a grudge about that?  Probably not.   Some grudges are reasonable, others are not so reasonable.  

 
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