I am back.
I had much time to think...
and thinking about love, and the definition of love, didn't cheer me up.
I truly wish there was an absolute definition for love.
It would save us all so much time, but then? If there was not--and yes, I'll say element--if there was not an element of faith to love, I suspect that love would lose its elusively mystical value. If we could say, that this--in this legal contract, right here--love is defined, then there would be much less allure.
Love would lose its poetic value, and become the elusive x in some algebraic equation.
Love...I sigh. It is the nth to the nth degree--the sum total of all that we have experienced individually, and add to that the sum total of our idealizations of all that it could be--or should be--our idealizations of love seem to be dependant on what we feel is lacking in our lives and in ourselves in the moment.
Love is transcendent and beyond even THAT. Love is what we hope will fill that empty ache in the cavity of our chest.
Oh I wish there were an absolute definition of love.
I truly do. But imagine the mathematical possibilities, when we must realize that love is an individual experience, and that romantic love depends on those individuals being in agreement, in the right place, at the right time, in the right geography...
Then, if we add the vows of marriage, our values come into that equation.
If we have children within the bounds of that equation, then our values are amplified. And sometimes (even most times) our values are so subconscious that we don't even know them at all until we experience the meeting of our selves out side of ourselves in the form of our selves in a child.
All of the above or none of the above?
Because we are human, and evolving, we redefine the definitions as we do so. The idea that we can pair up, and marry, in a quintessential moment of unity and actually stay married, two people behaving as one being, either through devout loyalty, or sheer stubborn will; it is a fantastic beating of the odds in a communion of flesh that absolutely demands sacrifice.
Thus, at times, it becomes a very unromantic decision. I speak of marriage now.
I suspect that anyone who has had a long-term relationship can appreciate the idea that there is comfort in that. Like having a "war buddy". (You might not always enjoy sharing the foxhole, but at least you know what your mate is capable of, and hopefully, those capabilities make up for our own shortcomings.)
Beware of peacetime.
Ultimately, I think that we do not define love. Love, and how, or whether we choose to express it, defines us.
It may be totally lame to quote Lennon/McCartney, but I shall:
"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." <--talk about an algebraic equation, eh?
Sometimes you are wrong.
Love does indeed hurt.