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Philosophy 101
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Friends?
| Philosophy 101 |
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Friends? |
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byski Member
since 2006-01-26
Posts 235Alberta, Canada |
What makes a friend in this world? I once heard it described as "One soul found in two bodies" A life should not be without the love of companions, Whither you are face to face with your girlfriends or side by side with your brothers. (This is supported by recent studies) True friendship is hard to define, and an accurate description cannot be found in words. These jumbles of sounds cannot do justice to what we can find through platonic love. (See I told you) But one thing that haunts us all is that friendships do come to an end one way or another. If you disagree you have just not lived this life long enough. Either through death or some other unfortunate circumstance as relocation, all relationships come to an end. The problem exists when friends are "lost" because of situations that you can somewhat control; or at the very least influence. It should be understood that these 'so called friends' were not friends in the first place. Rather a temporary bond was developed completely out of chance. I do not mean to discourage those who seek the acceptance of others, no one is strong enough to go through all of life with just those that are loved. I mean to raise the question of who is a true friend and who is just passing by? I have heard it described before that friends are people with common goals and interests. Would it not be in the best interest to find those that meet both descriptions? Surround yourself with those that you love, since their soul is bound with yours (assuming that you love yourself). Working together for the common good should just happen as a result. |
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Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
quote: If you believe real friendship is dependent on proximity . . . well, perhaps you've just lived this life too long?  Friendship need never die. Like so much else, the end of a relationship is always a choice. Dead or alive, near or far, there are some people who will forever be a part of my life. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
To be a friend all you need is a connection - distance doesn't matter! It's the heart that matters... |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
. A friend is someone you're willing to kill at his request out of love . |
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Ringo 
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
quote: I will totally agree with this... my best friend and I are the only ones who understand our relationship, even though she and I cannot put a name to it. We just know. quote: uh... no. My best friend (as described above) lived only about 3 miles from my house... we had coffee every Wednesday, visited each other constantly, chatted online and on the phone every day. She got married and moved to a town that is about 90 minutes drive from here. Yet we chat on the phone and online several times a week; I travel down there every couple of months; she also travels every few months; we send e-cards and letters every month or so, and every "occasion" (birthdays, anniversaries, etc). When did distance ever become an issue with our relationship? I have a friend that was called Home a couple of years ago. I still talk to him when I am attempting to figure out a difficulty in my life, and I still feel his influence in my life. My best male friend lives a mere 6 miles from where I am currently typing this post... and he has dercided, for whatever reason, that it is too difficult to call, answer e-mails, return messages, or stop up to see how my life is going. How did proximity save our relationship? I submit that it is not distance measured linerally, yet a distance mesured emotionally that causes a relationship to fail... and the lack of interest in both participants to do the work required. What would you attempt to do...if you knew you could not fail?. |
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byski Member
since 2006-01-26
Posts 235Alberta, Canada |
With new technologies yes it it much easier to keep in contact with people. The circumstance that I am refering too is a friend of mine who moved away when I was very young. We did not have easy access to one another and therefore the friendship died out not by choice, but by not being able to stay in contact. In one way or another I guess it is a choice, but the argument that I was trying to bring up was choosing your friends. From what I have learnt in my recent events in my life I realized that those who were friends are not anymore, once again by choice. We all grow and change and it seems to be a waste of good energy to keep in contact with those that do not change with me. I have different sets of values now compared to when I met those people, is it wrong to let them go? "If you truly love something let it be free, if it comes back then it was yours to keep" is a saying that comes to mind when I think about this situation. |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
You are correct when you say that as you grow you grow away from some friends. But I can tell you that if you truly like someone you find ways to keep in touch. I am now 77 years old and still have friends from grade school, some from forth grade and some from the early seventies and some from the eighties. All it took was a piece of paper and a pencil or pen, an envelope and a stamp. I did not use the telephone much because the cost was a lot more than a stamp. The art of writing letters has disapeared. But the internet has made it even easier to keep in touch. So there is no reason not to.I have written four or five letters to receive one telephone call from some who did not really like to write. I was persistant in writing. This summer I went to Maine for a week to visit a friend I had met in 1952.I last saw her twenty five years ago. But I was able to go and so I did and we were still right in tune and it seemed like we had always been together. We had a lovely time.We used to write letters and stamp and send them but now we are able to keep in touch with e-mail. From Maine I went to my home town and had lunch with three ladies I had met in the seventies, then another lunch out with a man and his wife and another lady I met when I moved to their neighborhood in 1951, the same neighborhood where I met the lady who now lives in Maine. I stayed with my friend Jan who I met in the fifth grade for a week. Jan and I had the lunches with the other people. One afternoon my daughter whom I stayed with the second week dropped me off at a lady friend's house.I met her when I went to work in the same place as she worked in 1972. I wrote in Pip about a child hood friend who had been visiting me the last three winters of her life. She died while here in an unexpected way. Had gone off on a gamling cruise and never came home. She and I met because we were living across the street from each other when todlers. She moved away while in the fifth grade and we wrote letters. A few years ago when she was here with me I gave her a packet of those fouth grade letters. I had saved them ..While in Conn. at my friend Jan's house I gave her a packet of 18 letters she wrote to me the summer I was fifteen and working as a baby sitter in Cohassett Mass. for the summer. She had forgotten she had even written them as she is one who hated to write and calls after my letters. There are more but this is getting too long. As Ron said we do not lose a friend through death either, as they are always with us through our memories.Many a time I find my self saying, "Oh I have to call Marion, maybe Ello, when something comes up to remind me, or I feel they would like to hear about something I saw or did. They are always with us. But friendship needs to be cultivated.And it is so worth it. I have heard it said that nmost people only have one friend and feel the richer for it.Imagine how I feel knowing I have so many close dear friends who I know I can call, write or visit as I can and we still be able carry on a conversation as if it was just dropped yesterday. Enjoy your friends, work at it and develope them into long standing ones. You will be richer for it. Best to you, "late" |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
The word friend redefines itself with every new one I meet. And don't confuse evolution with death. That friendship stuff grows. |
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rad802 Member
since 2008-04-19
Posts 279KY U.S.A. |
It is important at the begining of any relationship that those involved keep trust in the center. It is to be earned, it is to be rewarded, and it is to be charished. It is in this way that true friends are united. A worthy legacy is the irrevocable consequence of dreaming. |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Dear John, What happens if you're simply not willing to kill other folks, even folks you love? I've had friends in my life that I've made a point of not killing, even on request. Serious question, not to nit-pick. I've had to wrestle with it more than a few times. Yours, Bob Kaven |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
BySki a friend if a true friend may grow in different way but unless they are ways that you can not abide, the person can still be a friend. We can learn a lot from friends also. They should not become lost to you until death adn then we carry the wonderful memories until our death. To Bob K. One of my very close friends and I had discussed helping the other to leave and not to linger in illness. We wondered how. If one just left pills for the other to take when we thought it was time, we would still be held responsible for the other's "untimely death". As it was when my friend was ill with cancer she and I spoke on the phone.I flew to Conn.from Florida and visited her in the hospital for two days. The third day I left for Florida. Her daughter and sister were both nurses and they took her home to her house where she had two more days to be in her own home surounded by her family. The questions and answers are very hard no matter how close we are. latearival |
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