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Passions in Poetry

Secret & Private

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rwood
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since 02-29-2000
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0 posted 11-13-2007 01:56 PM       View Profile for rwood   Email rwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rwood

I like those words~

and itís interesting to me how men are stereotypically charged with being more secret & private than women.

Women are stereotypically charged with being unable to keep a secret and being public with everything.

Have men compromised Top Secret Information to women in private? Yep.

Would this have to do with biological wiring? expression? cause & effect, or simple discretion & indiscretion?

too many think the words are virtually the same, but I disagree. I canít really pinpoint
anything direct at the moment, but the defs. are vast for those two little words and I don't think one can take the place of the other.

Top Private
Secret Eye

Off the top of my head without checking etymology or definitions, wouldnít whatís secret also be private, but whatís private may not be a secret?
serenity blaze
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1 posted 11-13-2007 03:36 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

How about "sneaky" and "evasive".

I like those words better.

"Cause um, I have noticed when I neglect to mention a detail of something to my husband, I am "sneaky" and "evasive."

The natural prediliction of men to be "secret" and "private" only seems to come up in non-answer to a question from a woman.

Which, is pretty darned evasive, doncha think?
Stephanos
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2 posted 11-13-2007 07:33 PM       View Profile for Stephanos   Email Stephanos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Stephanos's Home Page   View IP for Stephanos

So is this thread about the nuances of "secret" and "private", or is it a man-bashing session?  Or is that too a secret?




I'm not sure either gender has a greater tendency toward secrecy.  But I will say that its proper to be secretive at times, and contemptible to be so at other times.  It all depends upon motive and circumstance, don't you think?  Then there's just plain negligence, which is often the case with men.  I sometimes withhold important information from my wife out of an absent-minded lack of communication.  That doesn't excuse it, but it is not out and out deceit.


Stephen
Larry C
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3 posted 11-13-2007 08:15 PM       View Profile for Larry C   Email Larry C   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Larry C's Home Page   View IP for Larry C

Well I'd like to go out on a limb Stephanos and bet the Reg ain't a "man basher".

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Stephanos
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4 posted 11-13-2007 09:09 PM       View Profile for Stephanos   Email Stephanos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Stephanos's Home Page   View IP for Stephanos

I think I'm the one on the limb here.

serenity blaze
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5 posted 11-13-2007 10:42 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

What is interesting to me, is how Reggie was exonerated from the accusation of man-bashing, and I was left here alone. Do tell, Larry, why is that? Um, she is the initiator of the post.

Oh, wait. I see Stephan is out there on a limb too.

Let me grab my saw...

I'll get ya down bro.
Stephanos
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6 posted 11-13-2007 10:49 PM       View Profile for Stephanos   Email Stephanos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Stephanos's Home Page   View IP for Stephanos

This feels more like a cartoon episode than a philosophy thread.  But then again, I'm apparently hanging by one.  

Ever seen those cartoons where the sawed-off-limb stays put and the tree falls?  One can only hope.




Stephen
TomMark
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7 posted 11-13-2007 11:08 PM       View Profile for TomMark   Email TomMark   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for TomMark

What do you mean  by "Secret & Private"?

DO you mean Secret "don't tell" and Private "don't tell in public"?
rwood
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8 posted 11-14-2007 06:13 AM       View Profile for rwood   Email rwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rwood

Karen~ Good words, but they suggest something negative of the one being sneaky or evasive, whereas everyoneís entitled to their secrets, and we all feel we have some, and privacy or being private about something is a right many donít want to respect.

However, I have called a manís cards on an issue, and (like a Twix moment) he did ask if he could think before he divulged himself to me about something that was secret & private. I respected his request and I guess the joke was on me, cuz I thought it would be something really BIG! It was something I already knew, but hadnít shared that I knew, so, somehow it became my secret, too.

I think itís a matter of weirdness, between people, and the idiosyncrasies of communication/relationships.

For instance: I have a friend that regularly checks her husbandís e-mail and his cell, though heís never done anything to warrant any concern. She feels (or likes to think) heís keeping secrets from her, while she secretly cracks his passwords, hacks into his mail, and invades his privacy. I think he knows, but doesn't say anything. Sighs, now itís not really a secret, because I divulged, and what if they ever read this!

so, secret and private takes on negativity depending on the character & the flaws involved.

Stephen~ Ah, yes, exactly. The ďnuancesĒ of secret & private. No, no. No man-bashing. No trees, no limbs, are necessary. No Bush either. (snark) My fondness for most other men isnít exactly a secret, but thatís a private matter. I think.


ďBut I will say that itís proper to be secretive at times, and contemptible to be so at other times.Ē

But isnít that, decidedly, an individual judgment call that may cause a problem if someone directly involved with you doesnít agree? I think the element of trust between people takes some hits sometimes, regarding whatís secret and private.  It seems people want to be entitled to their secrets and are very private about their reasons, because they are personal, but they also want to gauge or monitor others by their own standards, as with anything I suppose, but something secret or private canít really BE gauged unless itís compromised.

ďmotive and circumstanceĒ, of course.

ďdeceitĒ is definitely the ugly cousin of secret and Iím sure the two get unfairly paired at a table of issues.

Larry~ Get out of my tree before you fall down and break something private. Hahaha.

Karen~ See. You can take care of yourself, and lend a hand to another at the same time. I dunno if they have that much faith in me

Tom~  Sure. ďSecret "don't tell" and Private "don't tell in public." I think those are solid usages. Though secrets may be acts that no oneís ever spoken of and private may be acts that are committed in public, as well. Telling may not ever happen.


There are principles to secret & private for most people, and seductive elements as well.


Balladeer
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9 posted 11-14-2007 08:28 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Well, you can  keep a secret and you can keep privates secret, but how do you keep a private?
rwood
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10 posted 11-15-2007 04:47 AM       View Profile for rwood   Email rwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rwood

Ha. Good one. Hmm, the rank of Private in the  military...stems from the soldier being private property of the government? I'm just guessing.

so then you could "keep a Private" at attention, but not a secret, unless one's a member of Secret Service. Are there Private ranks of the SS?
Essorant
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11 posted 11-15-2007 11:27 AM       View Profile for Essorant   Email Essorant   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Essorant's Home Page   View IP for Essorant

Take a look at other words that derive from the same Indoeuropean roots as secret and private:

Secret: s(w)e-

Private: per1

Of course secrete and secretary are also based on the same part as secret as well: Latin secretus "set apart", the Perfect Passive participle of secernere "to set apart".

serenity blaze
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12 posted 11-15-2007 02:04 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

quote:
Well, you can  keep a secret and you can keep privates secret, but how do you keep a private?


At ease?

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