Karen~ Good words, but they suggest something negative of the one being sneaky or evasive, whereas everyone’s entitled to their secrets, and we all feel we have some, and privacy or being private about something is a right many don’t want to respect.
However, I have called a man’s cards on an issue, and (like a Twix moment) he did ask if he could think before he divulged himself to me about something that was secret & private. I respected his request and I guess the joke was on me, cuz I thought it would be something really BIG! It was something I already knew, but hadn’t shared that I knew, so, somehow it became my secret, too.
I think it’s a matter of weirdness, between people, and the idiosyncrasies of communication/relationships.
For instance: I have a friend that regularly checks her husband’s e-mail and his cell, though he’s never done anything to warrant any concern. She feels (or likes to think) he’s keeping secrets from her, while she secretly cracks his passwords, hacks into his mail, and invades his privacy. I think he knows, but doesn't say anything. Sighs, now it’s not really a secret, because I divulged, and what if they ever read this!
so, secret and private takes on negativity depending on the character & the flaws involved.
Stephen~ Ah, yes, exactly. The “nuances” of secret & private. No, no. No man-bashing. No trees, no limbs, are necessary. No Bush either. (snark) My fondness for most other men isn’t exactly a secret, but that’s a private matter. I think.
“But I will say that it’s proper to be secretive at times, and contemptible to be so at other times.”
But isn’t that, decidedly, an individual judgment call that may cause a problem if someone directly involved with you doesn’t agree? I think the element of trust between people takes some hits sometimes, regarding what’s secret and private. It seems people want to be entitled to their secrets and are very private about their reasons, because they are personal, but they also want to gauge or monitor others by their own standards, as with anything I suppose, but something secret or private can’t really BE gauged unless it’s compromised.
“motive and circumstance”, of course.
“deceit” is definitely the ugly cousin of secret and I’m sure the two get unfairly paired at a table of issues.
Larry~ Get out of my tree before you fall down and break something private. Hahaha.
Karen~ See. You can take care of yourself, and lend a hand to another at the same time. I dunno if they have that much faith in me
Tom~ Sure. “Secret "don't tell" and Private "don't tell in public." I think those are solid usages. Though secrets may be acts that no one’s ever spoken of and private may be acts that are committed in public, as well. Telling may not ever happen.
There are principles to secret & private for most people, and seductive elements as well.