Member Rara Avis
always begets friends, truth always begets hate"
Cicero also said, "Never go to excess, but let moderation be your guide." I think he, like me, would have rejected the excess implicit in your either/or hypothesis. As I noted above, Cicero left out a key word that you seem to be implying with your question. (We should also, I suspect, take Cicero's words in the context of his life. He was a politician first and foremost, and a philosopher and poet only after the fact. In that context, his words take on a slightly different hue?)
Francesco Petrarch, in a 1345 letter to the long dead Cicero, wrote, "For, if censure that is true angers us, true praise, on the other hand, gives us delight." If you
always lie to your friend in order to maintain the friendship, he clearly can't believe any thing you say -- including the good things. If you're unwilling to risk the pain that might come from telling the truth, you have to also give up the gain that the truth can bring. What good is a friend who can't believe a word you say?
Personally, I don't think you have to
always tell the whole truth to a friend or even to a dearly loved one. No matter how close you are to another human being, I believe there are still things that fall into the realm of "none of your damn business." Those are the areas where I will remain silent in hopes of preserving the friendship. I will not, however, ever lie to a friend. At best, I think a lie could only preserve the illusion of friendship. The reality would have died with the lie.