I am a mother.
I became a mother as a result of sexual intercourse--and I assure you, that was an act of "self-interest"--but perhaps not so "rational".
I am still a mother, most gratefully too, but after some consideration, my role, presently, is less that of a "mother" than it is that of a "parent".
This subtle difference is not a date I can mark on a calendar--it is more like a monochromatc painting--gradual changes that occurred that I cannot define.
As a co-parent of teens, I sometimes long for ultimate authoritarianism. But I will confide in you, Drauntz. I taught my children to look both ways even when a blinking light said "Walk."
I understand that this does not ensure their safety, but it is my job--my job--to give them all the skills I have, hard-earned by my own mistakes and most certainly limited, as I am merely a human being, learning through trial and error.
I am a human being, and in my own belief system, I am a living symbol of order out of chaos. I've come to appreciate order and rules. I thank my lucky stars (or the god of anyone's choice) that I had a mother and father who grew to be parents as I grew from a toddler to an adult.
So I ask you, now, who taught that child to read the word "STOP"--or even to recognize the symbol and meaning? And it's not without compassion that I ask you, who failed so miserably to teach you the same?
You seem to persist in asking for black and white answers in a world full of rainbows.
I tend to find my own answers somewhere inbetween two rails, much like Rand's loco-motives. loco-motives...pun certainly intended!
Ultimately, you must find your own way. I wish you luck and yes, serenity!
(Now google the "serenity prayer"! It just might help.)