Statesboro, GA, USA
I think she would agree with me, Stephen. Sex is just sex.
Then she would feel okay about you having sex with someone else besides her? If you say "no" then I'd say there's a problem with your view of sex.
For my wife and I, the "special" part isn't in the motions themselves, it's in the concurrent emotions developed from our relationship.
Then those mere "motions" could be had with anyone outside of your relationship with no objections from either of you?
I won't deny that some friendships have unravelled following a night of relatively casual sex. I firmly believe that it wasn't the sex, however, that hurt the relationship, but the desire on one side or the other to change what was previously a plutonic relationship into one more intimate.
It seems like you're contradicting yourself. The definition of platonic (in the sense that you're using) is: purely spiritual; free from sensual desire, esp. in a relationship between two persons of the opposite sex.
Your response illustrates my point that those kinds of intimate emotions and desires (and hurts and disappointments) are part and parcel of sexual intimacy, by it's very nature. I'm criticizing your view on the grounds that your expectation (that such an intimate act should be taken "casually", without complicating feelings) doesn't match reality.
Is the fault the sentimentality of one partner, or the callousness of the other? The sentiments correspond to sex, the callousness doesn't. And that's my whole point.
I don't suggest, either, that sex can't be much more than casual, with a committed (not necessarily monogomous) relationship where people share deep feelings. It's an enhancement that's not to be ignored.
Only problem with that is, it is the nature of a woman (and a man, including you I'll bet) to desire monogamous commitment from a lover. And problems arise when it is denied or ignored. In what sense does "commitment" enhance sexuality, if it is not to avoid adulterous forays and maintain an exclusively special kind of love?
Sex is just sex, but it is intimacy that makes sex "special." Unfortunitly to little poeple these days realize that.
True. I never suggested that sex could not become (by a wrong view of things) "just sex". I only suggested it represents a spoiled version of what sex was meant to be, and may help to spoil us in the process.